“I love you, but I’m not in love with you…”  Maybe you’ve heard this one before, or even said it yourself to someone you were breaking up with? I know I have in past relationships. If you’ve used this statement, or been on the receiving end of it, you need to listen to this podcast. There’s much more to the story. Find out by listening in…

SHOWNOTES:

• A common statement in relationship, but the real meaning behind it [1:50]
• A more honest statement to use instead [5:15]
• What is supposed to happen in a real relationship? [11:30]
• What happens when we don’t learn how to love [13:45]

This episode was a lot of fun. Terry Real brings the heat for women and men using what he calls “fierce intimacy.” While this episode is for both men and women, it is largely geared toward women who are with a guy who’s not fully on board. He has some great advice for women, while at the same time challenges men to develop their relationship skills. I know you’ll dig this one.

SHOWNOTES:

• Beginning of interview [4:30]
• Terry shares how he came to be interested in relationship work [5:00]
• What is “fierce intimacy”? [7:20]
• The difference between a good man and a great man [12:30]
• Advice for young millennial men [15:00]
• What Terry says to women who are frustrated with their men [19:30]
• A lot of men who wont do the work for themselves or for the marriage, will get it and rise to the occasion for the sake of… [23:00]
• 3 key steps for women to work with their shutdown men (this is very good) [26:00]
• Should women reward their man’s effort with sex? [32:45]
• The design flaw in the way most therapists do therapy [40:10]
• Parting comments [50:15]

If you’ve ever skied, surfed, or gone outdoor climbing, there’s a good chance you’ve experienced that elusive peak state of awareness referred to as “flow”. Time slows, thoughts disappear, your sense of self seems to merge with the present moment, and everything just…flows! The flow state brings high levels of creativity, learning and connection…all things that we want in our relationships. In this episode, I bring on flow expert Jamie Wheal to dig into an important question: How can we bring this peak state into our long-term partnerships? We also hear deeply personal, wisdom-packed stories from Jamie on the evolution of his partnership.  You’re going to enjoy this one.

SHOWNOTES:

• Start of interview [0:40]
• What is the Flow Genome Project? [1:30]
• What’s the distinction between dopamine rushes, drug highs, and “flow”? [3:50]
• Is there a bridge between peak flow states and monogamous relationships? [7:20]
• What happens when sex is made into a dedicated practice, similar to exercise or flossing? [12:50]
• “Erotic Tonglen” [16:50]
• Shares from Jamie’s personal life [22:50]
• What happened to the sexual chemistry when Jamie had kids? [28:05]
• Is the bedroom a place of withholding or safety? [29:05]
• The unconscious bargain that Jamie started his marriage with, and had to drop to save the relationship [31:20]
• What Jamie learned about his relationship at Burning Man [33:00]
• False notions about enlightenment and soulmates [40:30]
• Parting Words from Jamie [43:40]

There are 3 key components of Flow:

1. Rich Environments
2. Deep Embodiment
3. High Consequence