• What's porn's place in a relationship? [2:00]
• How porn can negatively affect a relationship [5:00]
• Porn is not the bad guy [7:00]
• Porn, like any compulsion, can be a wedge between two people [10:00]
• Ramifications of porn [12:00]

Arielle Ford explores the ups and downs of marriage, what to do with a new age nice guy, and how to rekindle the spark after stuckness. This week's guest got married at age 44, and realized she sucked at listening and didn't know anything about partnership. And now she teaches people all over the world the about the power of attraction, soul mates, and love.

SHOWNOTES

• Talking vs communicating [6:00]
• The purpose of marriage [8:00]
• Shocking facts about divorce [12:00]
• Women: How to fill up your oxytocin tanks [17:00]
• Men: How to rebuild testosterone [18:00]
• Do both partners need to be into growth and development? [21:00]
• Stepping back into your feminine after being in work-mode [27:00]
• How to have a difficult conversation in a positive way [33:00]
• How to lighten the mood when you’re triggered [38:00]

2:30 Defining emotional abuse

4:45 It Takes Two

5:30 Do you feel safe in your own home?

6:10 It's more complicated than 'just leave.'

7:00 How are you a part of your own abuse cycle?

7:35 Self-reflection and taking responsibility

What does your intention have to do with creating a great relationship?
According to my guest, everything.
If you are single, what vibe are you putting out into the world to attract a mate? If you are partnered, what vibe are you putting into your relationship?
This week's guest has so much to say about upgrading your story and your intention and how that can impact how fulfilled you are in your relationship (or future relationship). She also has some practical tips on how to do exactly that. 

If you are trying to "call in the one", or just trying to deepen with the one you have already, this interview is going to help you a ton!

SHOWNOTES

• Why do some women have a pattern of dating unavailable men? [11:00]
• The power of setting intentions [14:00]
• Self-limiting beliefs and 'stories' we tell ourselves [21:00]
• Clearing up 'the power of thoughts' for skeptics [23:00]
• A guided exercise with Katherine for finding your 'false self' [29:00]
• How to talk to your inner child [34:00]
• What to do when you're really stuck in your own story [45:00]
• Katherine's go-to move for when she's triggered [49:00]

QUESTION

If you want to understand the long term cost of not repairing a rupture, Dan Siegel, who coined the term interpersonal neurobiology, is about to illuminate your mind. 

We discuss how we human beings operate when our "minds" and hearts come together, trauma, and how to fight off disease with presence. 

This episode is powerful.

It's for the science nerds and relationship geeks who want to better understand the human nervous system, mindfulness, and even trauma.

SHOWNOTES

• The 3 facets of the mind [15:00]
• Where does the mind live? [18:00]
• What do relationships and the body share in common? [20:00]
• How you can strengthen your mind through "monitoring and modifying" [27:00]
• Hyperarousal vs hypo-arousal [31:00]
• The 4 F’s of a reactive state [32:00]
• Coming back from reactivity [37:00]
• What are the long-term costs of not repairing ruptures to relationship? [42:00]
• How presence helps fight off disease [48:00]
• The importance of developing an "internal compass" [60:00]

Quote from the Smart Couple Quote Book
Stop wasting time with people who don’t support your fullness. Stop apologizing for who you are. Do not spend another day dimming your light because someone’s uncomfortable. Some people you know will always be uncomfortable with your way and will always judge you. Let them go and keep being you as you are.

SHOWNOTES

• A quote from The Smart Couple Quote Book [7:00]
• Outgrowing people on your path to growth and development [8:00]
• Surrounding yourself by growth-oriented people [10:00]

Boundaries are essential in a partnership and Terri Cole knows a lot about them. We talk about getting sober, parenting her inner child, what it takes to have your marriage as a top priority and what women can do to balance being independently strong with interdependently connected. This podcast interview is fun and full of gems.

SHOWNOTES

• Terri’s story [10:00]
• The 3 questions you need to ask yourself when you get triggered [21:00]
• What is ‘transference’ and how to we ‘repeat realities’? [23:00]
• How you can become more knowledgeable about your internal experience [26:00]
• Why is it important to do inner-child work? [27:00]
• What is a ‘Downloaded Love Blue-Print’, and how does it affect every relationship we have? [32:00]
• Examples of language you can use to support your partner when they’re triggered [42:00]
• 1 simple boundary everybody needs [49:00]
• Consequences vs threats [55:00]

QUESTION:
It seems like my husband wants me to change things, and that there are things I want him to change...
Is that the same things as wanting him to grow, just in different terms? I’ve heard you say that people can’t change their partners, but you have said that the goal should be to grow. I’m wondering what the difference is.
How do you accept that your partner isn’t going to change, but then strive or agree to grow?
- Natalie, Denver

SHOWNOTES

• Is it okay to want your partner to change? [2:00]
• Reasonable vs. unreasonable requests [3:00]
• Reframing change from a growth-oriented mindset [4:00]
• Requests that make your partner feel judged [6:00]
• When is it better to move on than to try to change someone? [8:00]