- How Should Students Be Taught To Deal With Disagreements [5:00]
- Why Are We Supposed To Keep Things Shallow In Small Talk [6:00]
- What Are Some Methods To Get Couples To Open Up And Communicate? [9:00]
- Some Of Jayson’s Biggest Suggestions For Young People [11:00]
- Why Do So Many Young People Struggle To Communicate And Bond [13:00]
- How Can We Learn To Accept Ourselves Sooner [15:00]
- What Are Some Challenges Teen Are Facing In Their Relationships? [20:00]
- The Teens & Screens Issue [21:00]
- Where Are Young People Going For Relationship Help? [23:00]
- How Can Adults And The Relationship School Help Young People [24:00]
- Would Students Take A Relationship Class [29:00]
- Who is Warren Farrell? [1:00]
- What Inspired Warren To Focus On Gender? [4:00]
- Why Is The Father’s Contribution To A Child’s Development Undervalued? [10:00]
- Research Findings On The Dad Deprived Boy [10:00]
- Connecting The #MeToo Movement To Raising Boys [17:00]
- How Boys Are Being Encouraged To Stay Silent [26:00]
- Defensiveness: Humankind’s Achilles Heel? [30:00]
- How Rough Play Can Help Teach Empathy [32:00]
- Why It’s Important For Boys To Learn Postponed Gratification [39:00]
- How People Are Responding To The Boy Crisis [42:00]
- What Is Warren Farrell’s Number One Message For Young People? [46:00]
- Why It’s Shitty Advice To Tell Your Kid To Say Sorry [2:00]
- Are You Teaching Your Kid To Say Sorry To Let Yourself Off The Hook? [3:00]
- What Kids Who Only Say Sorry Become As Adults [5:00]
- Two Ways To Respond To Conflict That Are Better Than Just Saying I’m Sorry [6:00]
- Who Is Stan Tatkin? [1:00]
- Info On Stan’s New Book ‘We Do’ [4:00]
- Going From Me To We Is Not About Codependency [6:00]
- What is PACT & Psychobiology? [10:00]
- Questions You Need To Ask Yourself If You Had a “Great” Childhood [19:00]
- Allostatic Load And The Intersection Between Health and Security [24:00]
- How To Start Hard A Conversation [34:00]
- A Psychobiological Look At Emotions & Hormones [41:00]
- Listener Question: How Responsible Are We For Our Partner’s Feelings? [49:00]
- Listener Question: How Does Stan Address Sexual Desire Discrepancies? [55:00]
- Why Interacting With Family Can Be So Difficult [1:00]
- Terri Cole’s Family Experience [3:00]
- The Importance Of Boundaries and Language With Family [7:00]
- Examples Of Managing Family Dysfunction Successfully [9:00]
- Strategies For Avoiding Unwanted Conversations With Family [14:00]
- Is It Okay To Just Walk Away From Shitty Family Conversations? [19:00]
- Taking A Break From Family And Avoiding Family Holidays Altogether [21:00]
- When Mom And Partner Are Competing For Attention [25:00]
- Family Drama Hotline info [29:00]
- Why Holiday Cheer Can Be Such Bullshit [2:00]
- What Role Are You Playing To Appease Your Extended Family? [4:00]
- Consider Cutting Your Parents Some Slack [6:00]
- Terri Cole Holiday Drama Hotline Info [8:00]
- Two Mindsets To Adopt For The Holidays [11:00]
- A Guided Meditation For People Facing A Breakup [2:00]
- Is Your Past Pain Playing Into Your Current Heartache? [12:00]
- Choose Who To Talk To About Your Breakup Wisely [14:00]
- How Relationship School Coaches Can Help You Through Your Separation [18:00]
If your partner feels like a 'ball and chain’, you're doing something wrong. You can feel free to totally be yourself AND have an intimate partnership.
SHOWNOTES:
- A Question From A Podcast Listener About Giving Space [2:00]
- Intimacy vs Closeness [4:00]
- Why the 'Ball and Chain' joke is such bullshit [6:00]
For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode on taking space and being yourself visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast216
To sign up for Embracing Conflict Weekend, taking place November 9th - 11th in Boulder, Colorado, visit https://relationshipschool.net/embracingconflict/
In this final installment of a three-part series on conflict, learn four things you can do post-conflict to repair the relationship as quickly as possible.
SHOWNOTES:
- Four Things To Do To Reconnect After A Fight [4:00]
- Embracing Conflict Weekend Info [10:00]
For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for part three in this conflict series visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast215
To sign up for Embracing Conflict Weekend, taking place November 9th - 11th in Boulder, Colorado, visit https://relationshipschool.net/embracingconflict/. Use the promo code "smartcouple" before October 21st and get $100 off!
In part two of this three-part series on conflict, Jayson breaks down the two skills you need when you're in the heat of it and explains the different types of fights.
SHOWNOTES:
- Embracing Conflict Weekend Info [1:00]
- Two Things To Do During Your Next Fight [2:00]
- The Three Types Of Fights [8:00]
To sign up for Embracing Conflict Weekend, taking place November 9th - 11th in Boulder, Colorado, click here. Use the promo code "smartcouple" before October 15th and get $100 off!
For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for part one of this conflict series episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast214
Few things can rip a partnership or friendship apart like conflict. In part one of this three-part series on conflict, Jayson proposes ten pre-conflict agreements to transform conflict from a threatening experience into a growth opportunity.
SHOWNOTES:
- Why Learning How To Do Conflict Is Important [1:00]
- Ten Agreement You Should Make With Your Partner BEFORE Conflict [3:00]
- Learn How To Do Conflict Well At The Upcoming Embracing Conflict Weekend! [18:00]
For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for part one of this conflict series episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast213
Weddings include a lot of really great traditions. But those old school 'in sickness and in health' vows suck. Find out how to do vows the right way.
SHOWNOTES:
- Personalized Wedding Vows Vs Traditional Vows [2:00]
- Why You Should Revisit Your Vows … Over & Over Again [5:00]
- Good Vows Challenge Your Partner [7:00]
- Tell Us About Your Wedding Vows! [11:00]
For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this Wedding Vows Dos and Don'ts episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast212
You've submitted questions. Jayson's got answers! This Ask Me Anything episode addresses feelings of inadequacy and mismatched sex drives.
SHOWNOTES:
- Why We Sometimes Feel We’re Not Enough & What To Do About It [2:00]
- What To Do When Your Partner Has A Different Sex Drive [6:00]
- How To Submit Your Questions [10:00]
For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this Ask Me Anything episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast211
Have a partner, friend or family member with an addiction? Feeling discouraged about their ability to change? Well, often times at the core of addiction ... is a relationship problem.
SHOWNOTES:
- The Connection Between Addiction And Prior Relationship Issues [2:00]
- Tips For People Who Love An Addict [4:00]
- Why Trying To Help Save Them Is A Bad Idea [7:00]
- Addressing The Addict In Your Life Starts With You [10:00]
For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode about addiction and partnership visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast210
Society often glorifies the caretaker to a saint-like status. But, it’s important to know when caretaking reaches the point of actually being more harmful than helpful.
SHOWNOTES:
- What is Caretaking? [1:00]
- The Caretaker Blindspot [4:00]
- Slipping From Being A Caretaker And Into Codependency [7:00]
- Action Step [10:00]
For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode about caretaking visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast209
Do you feel safe and secure? Seen and understood? Supported and loved? On a daily basis? Are you spending a fortune cleaning up after your failed relationships? In this episode, Jayson answers your questions about DPIR® and breaks down why the course is so worth it. Click here to apply.
SHOWNOTES:
- Think About WHY You Were Anxious About Going Back To School [1:00]
- Some Important Questions You Need To Ask Yourself [5:00]
- You Have Room For Growth & That's A Responsibility [10:00]
- Some Things You Get In The DPIR Course [15:00]
- Let's Break Down The Cost To Join DPIR [26:00]
- Jayson's DPIR Money-Back Guarantee [32:00]
For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode about the Deep Psychology of Intimate Relationships (DPIR)® course visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast208
According to professor and therapist Dr. Alexandra Solomon, engaging your partner in conversation about their past experiences is one of the best things you can do to keep your relationship sexy and exciting. Listen in to find out why!
- Who is Dr. Alexandra Solomon? [6:00]
- Alexandra Defines "Relational Self-Awareness" [8:00]
- Are Some People Just More Interested In Self-Awareness? [10:00]
- How Gender Norms Encourage Defensiveness [13:00]
- Alexandra’s Theories About Why People Avoid Introspection [23:00]
- How To Start Investigating Your History [31:00]
- Why It’s Never Okay To Use Stories From Their Past Against Them [37:00]
- Things Alexandra is Learning Her Own Marriage [40:00]
- Why Self-Care It Vital To A Healthy Partnership [42:00]
- Relational Themes Dr. Solomon Is Seeing Working With Students [49:00
- Getting Better At Relationship To Bring About Social Change [55:00]
FREE WEB CLASS - Aug. 14th - CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP!
For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Dr. Alexandra Solomon visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast207
You know those couples where the woman handles almost everything and the man, well ... kind of kicks back and acts like a teenager? That's the mother-son dynamic and in this episode, you'll learn how to escape that relationship trap and figure out why it happens in the first place.
- The Mom-Son Dynamic From A Woman’s Perspective [3:00]
- The Mom-Son Dynamic From A Guy’s Perspective [5:00]
- How to Help A Couple Living In A Parent-Child Relationship [9:00]
- How The Male Ego Comes Into Play [16:00]
For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Ellen Boeder visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast206
As grand prize winners of a recent Smart Couple podcast contest, Heather and Thomas got to sit down for a free session with Jayson. In this emotional and inspiring interview, Jayson helps Heather and Thomas dig into their past to find answers they've been seeking for years.
- Heather Lays Out Her Side Of The Story [8:00]
- Thomas Connects With Heather’s Past [20:00]
- Find Out WHY Your Partner Reacts That Way [28:00]
- Where Does The Smack You Talk To Yourself Come From? [38:00]
- Ways To Shake Things Up If You Spend Too Much Time Together [42:00]
- Jayson Explains The Contest [47:00]
COUPLES CONTEST DETAILS:
A lot of things you take personally in relationship have very little to do with your partner. Those issues are really the result of YOUR past, YOUR triggers and YOUR perspective...So says long-time Boulder, Colorado therapist & expert in the field of Child and Adult Attachment Theory and Models, Dr. Diane Poole Heller.
- How The Therapy Field Chose Diane [7:00]
- Why The Attachment Model Is So Central To Diane’s Work [12:00]
- The Kind Eyes Exercise [19:00]
- The Three Attachment Styles [21:00]
- Why Are You Complaining About Your Great Partnership? [32:00]
- Starting A Relationship Revolution With Secure Attachment [41:00]
- The Effects of A Disorganized Relationship Environment [46:00]
- Diane’s Method For Repairing From A Damaging Relationship [52:00]
- Don’t Sabotage Your Healthy Relationship Because Of Your Attachment Issues [1:01:00]
- Why You Shouldn’t Try To Heal Trauma Alone [1:03:00]
- Using Mental Time Travel (Autonoesis) For Healing [1:08:00]
- Diane’s Take On Why People Experience Repeated Trauma [1:11:00]
- Diane’s Jem Of Advice For Young Adults & Not Taking Things Personally [1:17:00]
For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Diane Poole Heller visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast204
We all want a little reassurance. And that's okay! But as Jayson's wife Ellen Boeder points out, if you're needing reassurance because you feel jealous, the issue you should address is the insecurity in your relationship.
- Is Monogamy The Problem Or Insecure Attachment? [1:00]
- The Power Of Reassurance [5:00]
- Two Impediments To Reassurance [10:00]
- Navigating A Jealous Partnership [13:00]
For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Ellen Boeder visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast203
What does it take to build a strong team-style partnership? Why do so many entrepreneurial types rely on teamwork in their careers, but struggle to be a team player at home?
Renowned therapist and co-founder of The Couples Institue, Pete Pearson, leads Jayson through a body-mind exercise that demonstrates ways to control reaction to stress in conflict and improve teamwork.
- What Catapulted Pete Pearson Into The Psychology World? [5:00]
- Why Entrepreneurial & Military Types Struggle With Teamwork At Home [8:00]
- How To Negotiate With Your Partner Well [14:00]
- Pete Walks Jayson Through A Calming Exercise [21:00]
- How Entrepreneurs Respond To Pete’s Self-Strengthening Technique [38:00]
- Advice For People In Love With An Entrepreneur [44:00]
- Pete’s Feedback For The Therapeutic Community [47:00]
For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Pete Pearson visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast202
Are you just defaulting to monogamy?
Ever GENUINELY asked yourself, "Would a different sexual model work better for me?"
Author, sex-advice columnist, podcaster and public speaker, Dan Savage, says we should all ask ourselves these questions regularly. Dan and his husband have chosen what they call a "monogamish" relationship. They've accepted that it's impossible to fulfill all your partner's needs and that's a message we can all learn from.
We usually focus on monogamous long-term relationships, but in this episode, we'll learn about how all types of relationships can be successful. Listen in and get ready for some introspection into your own sexual expression.
SHOWNOTES:
- What It Means To Be "Monogamish" [2:00]
- Culture’s Lies About Love & Why You’ll Never Be Enough [9:00]
- Advice For Bringing A Third Person Into Your Relationship [13:00]
- Why Non-Monogamy In A Gay Partnership Can Be Easier Straight Relationships [21:00]
- Thoughts On Transforming The Broken Monogamy Model [28:00]
- Dan Savage’s Journey To Becoming Monogamish [30:00]
- How Dan And His Husband Work Out Their Differences [34:00]
- Is Infidelity Really The Ultimate Betrayal? [41:00]
- The Consequences Of Denying Your Sexual Needs [46:00]
- Closing Thoughts [51:00]
For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Dan Savage visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast201
It's fair to say that relationship is a journey to discover and learn the answers to one love-related question after another. So, what better way to celebrate this in our 200th EPISODE than to answer as many of your love related questions as we can!
SHOWNOTES:
- 200th Episode Contest Details! [2:00]
- Doing Partnership With Emotionally Unavailable People [11:00]
- How To Hold Your Partner's Feet To The Fire - With Compassion [20:00]
- Working Through Past Pain For A Better Relationship [24:00]
- How to Prioritize Your Partner When Kids Join The Mix [27:00]
- Getting Involved In Your Partner's Health Issues [34:00]
course store- Understanding "Connection" [8:00]
- What Does 'Imago' Mean, According To The Word's Inventors [15:00]
- Harville & Helen's Response To Imago Therapy Criticism [20:00]
- How Harville & Helen’s Turned Their Relationship Around [30:00]
- What is Zero Negativity? [35:00]
- Tips For Staying Together In The Face of Separation [40:00]
- Thoughts For The Therapy Field From Helen & Harville [49:00]