Having awesome friends is great. Having awesome friends that are ALSO on the personal growth path IS BETTER!

Personal growth powerhouses Reuvain Bacal, Will Vanderveer, Keith Kurlander & Jayson Gaddis are longtime friends with a quarter century of coaching & self-improvement experience between them. Listen in on their convo!

SHOWNOTES:

• Who Are These Guys? [9:00]
• The Value Of Community [13:00]
• How These Four Bros Get Through Conflict With Each Other [21:00]
• Things The Guys Have Called Each Other On [27:00]
• How These Men Are Defining Love Today [37:00]
• What Inspires These Friends The Most [51:00]
• What Does It Mean to Have a Healthy Mind? [1:09:00]
• Parting Words of Wisdom [1:24:00]

FREE CLASS FOR MEN ONLY - CLICK HERE!

 For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Keith Kurlander, Will Vanderveer and Reuvain Bacal visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast198

• Are You Fixing People to Boost Your Control? [8:00]
• Overusing of the "Narcissist" Title [16:00]
• The Value of Accessing Your Anger [21:00]
• So Your Relationships Are Tough - Stop Running! [28:00]
• How to Tap Into Your Inner Warrior [31:00]
• Skillful and Attractive Anger [34:00]
• Staying in The Hurt [48:00]
• Why You Should Be Going to Conferences (Like MOTU) [52:00]
• Leaving Friends Behind When You’re Growing [54:00]

Who knew saying the words "I'm insecure" could be so sexy!?! It's time to uncover those insecurities, let go of the entitlement and celebrate where you're really at on your growth path.

SHOWNOTES:

• Why Insecurity Gets a Bad Rap [2:00]
• Call B.S. on Your Insecure Friends! [5:00]
• What Does it Mean to be ”Entitled” [6:00]
• Your Action Step - It’ll Make You Look Sexy! [9:00]

For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast196

Coaches Neil Sattin and Chloe Urban are a great example of a couple getting it right in the face of some serious challenges. Listen closely and you can snag some of their most helpful relationship tools!

SHOWNOTES:

• Chloe Urban and Neil Sattin’s Love Story [5:00]
• Advice for Couples When Step-Kids Are Involved [11:00]
• Why We Fail To Stand Up For Who We Are In Partnership [25:00]
• Primal Fears [27:00]
• How Does “Safety” Play a Role In Neil and Chloe's Relationship [31:00]
• Tip to Repair Relationship Disconnection [36:00]
• Dr. Pete Levine’s “Vu-ing” Technique for Self-Regulation [41:00]
• Chole & Neil’s Spiritual Practice-Relationship Intersection [45:00]
• When One Member of a Couple Doesn’t Have a Spiritual Practice [50:00]

For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Neil Sattin and Chloe Urban visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast195

Jayson met up with renowned couples therapy expert and author, Ellyn Bader, at this year's Interpersonal Neurobiology Conference at UCLA. WOW, was she a treasure trove of insight. Not just theories and concepts, but insight that can be used every day.

SHOWNOTES:

• Who is Ellyn Bader? [3:00]
• Anxiety vs Growth-Promoting Anxiety in Relationship [7:00]
• Three Different Decision-Making Strategies For Couples [16:00]
• Ellyn’s Insight for Therapists [21:00]
• Why Telling Your Partner What You "Need" Can be Problematic [29:00]
• The Confusion Around Differentiation vs Individuation [37:00]
• What Ellyn Means When She Asks, "Are You a Lie Invitee?" [47:00]

For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Ellyn Bader visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast194

Right now, researchers and the public are fascinated with brain science and Dr. Dan Siegel is a legend in that department. Jayson and Dr. Siegel dig in deep in this one, discussing autoimmune disease, rewiring the brain, GMO food, struggles in the therapy field and so much more.d and so much more.

SHOWNOTES:

• Why It’s Important to Have Healthy Adult Relationships for Good Health [12:00]
• Dr. Siegel's Thoughts on Epigenetics [15:00]
• The 5 Parts of Making Meaning [24:00]
• Emotion & The Importance of Subjective Experience [29:00]
• Autoimmune Disorders, Gluten and GMO Foods [41:00]
• Adverse Childhood Experiences and Illness [46:00]
• Where Are Therapist Falling Short And What Are They Doing Well [1:00:00]
• Dr. Siegel's Advice for Young People [1:06:00]

For the full web posting for this Smart Couple Podcast episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast193

A new study shows child abuse should be considered the second largest cause of illness in the U.S.. And yet, our diagnostic system ignores trauma completely. Listen to what trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk has to say about that and get his insight into turning traumatic pain into personal power!

SHOWNOTES:

• Bessel Responds to The Allegations Against Him [10:00]
• 2nd Largest National Health Problem: Child Abuse  [17:00]
• Avoiding Seeing Trauma Victims as Broken People [20:00]
• Why Meds Don't Cure Trauma [28:00]
• Explained: Why Child Abuse Can Lead to More Abuse [38:00]
• The Harm in Telling a Trauma Story Over and Over

For the full web posting for this Smart Couple Podcast episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast191

 Men are getting their world's rocked by the #MeToo movement and the rapid change in gender norms. In this episode, Jayson taps into Adam Gilad's valuable insight on men in the modern world.

SHOWNOTES:

• Who is Adam Gilad & What is Going on With Men Right Now [3:00]
• Men and the #MeToo Movement [8:00]
• Why Does the #MeToo Movement Make Some Men Defensive? [11:00]
• Why Male Identity Ultimately Doesn't Mean Shit [14:00] 
• Mom Issues and Male Rage [18:00]
• Thoughts on Male Conditioning [20:00]
• How do you Help People who Don't Want to be Helped? [23:00]
• What Women Need to Know About men Right now [25:00]

For the full web posting for this Smart Couple Podcast episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast190

This year's Interpersonal Neurobiology Conference at UCLA was a dream for a relationship research and brain science nerd!

If you geek out on that stuff, you'll love hearing the highlights Jayson and his therapist partner, Ellen Boeder, have in their personal conference notes.

SHOWNOTES:

• Antonio Damasio Highlights [5:00]
• Dan Siegel Highlights [8:00]
• Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt Highlights - Safe Conversation [12:00]
• Crazy Listening Statistic [15:00]
• Secure Functioning Relationships and Other Stan Tatkin Highlights [18:00]
• Insight for Therapists and Couples from Peter Pierson [18:00]
• Affairs and Esther Perel Highlights [25:00]
• The Shame of Staying With a Partner That Cheats [29:00]
• Insight from the Couples Panel [31:00]

For the full web posting for this Smart Couple Podcast episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast189

If you're like most people, you spend FOUR HOURS A DAY on your phone and check it ONE HUNDRED TIMES! Is all that time improving your life and the lives of others? If you use social media and want to hear a unique story about rebuilding after a separation, this episode is worth every minute!

SHOWNOTES:

• Who is Mark Shapiro? [5:00]
• Some Social Media Fails [12:00]
• Mark’s Extreme Social Media Experiment [16:00]
• Why do we Avoid Reaching out to Friends Online? [27:00]
• Mark’s First Marriage: Before & After [31:00]
• Showing Appreciation When You're not Feeling it [34:00]
• What was Open Relationship Life Like? [37:00]
• Advice for Couples Considering Divorce [48:00]
• Why Being Real is Important [56:00]

For the full web posting for this Smart Couple Podcast episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast188

In this episode, Jayson breaks down the three stages of long-term relationships, why they matter and what it takes to advance beyond the three stages to the ultimate partnership phase we all desire.

SHOWNOTES:

• Relationship Stage One: Infatuation [4:00]
• Relationship Stage Two is Challenging! [8:00]
• Earning the RIGHT to Get to Stage Three: True Love [9:00]
• Jayson's Fourth Stage: Love 360 [11:00]

 To view this episode's webpage visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast187

Ever heard of a freak accident rocking someone's world and totally changing them for the better? Gay Hendricks has one of those stories!

If you're interested in the mind-body connection and seeking purpose, a forever partner or a new you...listen closely and Gay may just share all the wisdom you need, without experiencing your own life-altering mishap.

SHOWNOTES:

• The Gay Hendrick’s Story [15:00]
• Are You Having the Same Argument Over and Over? [23:00]
• Gay’s Second New Beginning [27:00]
• How to Bring Out Your Inner Genius [33:00]
• The Four Fears and Why They Matter [37:00]
• Taking Time Each Day To Connect With Your Genius [41:00]
• A Story About Physical Pain’s Tie to Relationship Struggle [46:00]

Kids have been getting a lot of attention for troubling behavior recently...committing mass shootings, posting disturbing viral videos and lashing out at their parents with shocking rage. What is going on!?!

In this episode, renowned author and counselor Kim John Payne clears up misconceptions about "disobedient" children and explains how you can bring a balance of power back to your household.

SHOWNOTES:

• Be Inquisitive, Not Accusatory [18:00]
• When a Child is Distressed, Connection is Key  [27:00]
• Why it's a Mistake to Give Kids Too Many Choices [31:00]
• Don't Take it Personally When Your Kid Pushes Your Buttons [45:00]
• Are You "Peer Parenting"? [49:00]
• What You Can Do to Take Back the Leadership Role [58:00]
• Kim's Take on Youth Involvement in Mass Shootings [1:01:00]
• How to Parent Post National Tragedy [1:04:00]
• Your Home the War Zone [1:10:00]
• The Four Types Love & Why We Shouldn't Confuse Them [1:16:00]

For the full web post for this episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast185

Seeking purpose, health and happiness? International educator, best selling author, researcher and human behavior expert Dr. John Demartini can help you find answers! Don't miss this diverse episode with one of Jayson's greatest mentors.

SHOWNOTES: 

• What we do vs. what we say [10:00]
• What's your strategy for achieving your goals? [13:00]
• So you think your job sucks, but does it really? [18:00]
• Illness, symptoms and the mind [20:00]
• Thoughts on reincarnation [26:00]
• Demartini's theories on the rise in autoimmune disease [32:00]
• Is social media making us physically ill? [34:00]
• Demartini's opinions on attachment theory [38:00]
• No such thing as a dysfunctional family [45:00]
• Beware of the "all enlightened" person [50:00]
• Can we train our bodies to sleep less? [1:10:00]
• Cryptocurrencies and financial advice [1:14:00]

To view the webpage for this episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast184

Fighting in front of the kids is a major taboo, but should it be? What if we started treating each conflict in the home as an opportunity for relationship homeschooling?

Jayson Gaddis has spent years teaching kids (including his own) about how to do conflict. News flash: Lectures aren't the answer. Leading by example is!

In this episode, you'll learn how to take your family's authenticity to a whole new level AND ensure the young adults in your life learn how to do conflict from someone who cares about doing it right...someone like you!

SHOWNOTES:

• DO fight in front of your kids [2:00]
• Why it's a mistake to lecture young people [4:00]
• Young people see, young people do [6:00]
• What are conflicts in front of kids like at the Gaddis house? [8:00]
• Shame as a tool [10:00]
• You're action step [15:00]

Check out the webpage for this episode at https://relationshipschool.net/podcast183

Not a fan of your inner critic? Want to get rid of it? What if that negative voice inside isn't your enemy but a valuable part of your internal family?

Author, psychotherapist and founder of the Internal Family Systems Model (IFS), Richard Schwartz, says our true "Self" exists side by side with the many parts that make us who we are. The trick is putting the "Self" back in the driver's seat.

In this episode, Richard and Jayson talk IFS and explore the concept that people are naturally multiple. This one's great for therapists, coaches AND individuals alike!

SHOWNOTES

• Who is Richard Schwartz? [7:00]
• What makes Internal Family System (IFS) therapy unique? [11:00]
• The three goals of IFS [19:00]
• Changing your relationship with your inner critic [22:00]
• Richard's thoughts on co-regulation [35:00]
• Is healing on your own realistic? [44:00]
• Your partner, your "tor-mentor" [49:00]
• Richard's bits of advice and suggested resources [54:00]

Did you know around one in ten marriages starts as a long-distance relationship?

Connor and Vienna are one long-distance couple on their way to marriage and, as professional mentors, they have many gems of wisdom to share. 

Find out what's working for them and see how their insight applies to you!

SHOWNOTES

• Who are Connor Beaton and Vienna Pharaon? [7:00]
• Connor and Vienna's love story [10:00]
• This couple's tips for long-distance couples [20:00]
• The importance of communication in long-distance relationships [23:00]
• What does defensiveness say about a person's relationship priorities? [31:00]
• Balancing autonomy and the desire to be together [39:00]
• As relationship coaches, what advice do these two have for all couples? [51:00]

Wondering HOW The Relationship School® changes lives? If it's really worth it? Curious why more and more people are saying it's life changing and the best thing they've ever done? In this episode, we hear the honest stories of four Relationship School students, each living different lives with unique challenges.

SHOWNOTES

• • • Who are these four women? [9:00]
    • How The Relationship School did what therapy could not [19:00]
    • Community & Commitment make it work [25:00]
    • Relationship School and your kids  [28:00]
    • What is LUFU? [36:00]
    • Get in touch with your needs [41:00]
    • Top reasons to enroll [48:00]

Happy New Year! In this special episode, Jayson shares his candid thoughts on what worked for the Smart Couple Podcast last year, what did not and the changes planned for 2018. We also get Jayson's top ten episodes list from 2017.

SHOWNOTES

• The Smart Couple Podcast: Reflections on 2017 and Plans for 2018 [4:00]
• What's The Relationship School Have In Store for 2018? [12:00]
• Jayson's 2017 Top Ten Episodes List [17:00]
• Hidden Power Of Conflict – Annie Lalla – SC 88
• How To Deal With An Avoidant Partner & Interpersonal Stress – Stan Tatkin – SC 104
• The Neuroscience & Power of Safe Relationships – Stephen W. Porges – SC 116
• Ayahuasca, Trauma, & Relationships – Dr. Gabor Maté – SC 134
• The 4 Freedoms That Develop Masculine Depth & Purpose – Satyen Raja – SC 140
• The Trap of Becoming Your Partner’s Therapist – Danielle LaPorte – SC 146
• My Wife On How To Repair After A Ruptured Connection – Ellen Boeder – SC 152
• Setting Boundaries With Ease, Grace and Love – Terri Cole – SC 156
• Interpersonal Neurobiology – Dan Siegel – SC 158
• Why Spiritually Developed People Struggle With Monogamy – Ellen & Jayson – SC 176