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Relationship School Podcast

Learn street level, practical tools to have better relationships from a real dude who is a solid husband and father. Jayson Gaddis, founder of The Relationship School, interviews couples, experts, neuroscientists, therapists, coaches, and everyday people to help you have the best relationships possible. Watch your long-term partnerships, family relationships, friendships, and work relationships get better. Jayson offers a fun action step at the end of each episode. Let's do this people! Let's learn how to love bigger! The world needs it.
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Now displaying: Page 12
Oct 23, 2018

If your partner feels like a 'ball and chain’, you're doing something wrong. You can feel free to totally be yourself AND have an intimate partnership.

 

SHOWNOTES:

  • A Question From A Podcast Listener About Giving Space [2:00]
  • Intimacy vs Closeness [4:00]
  • Why the 'Ball and Chain' joke is such bullshit [6:00]

 

For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode on taking space and being yourself visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast216

 

 To sign up for Embracing Conflict Weekend, taking place November 9th - 11th in Boulder, Colorado, visit https://relationshipschool.net/embracingconflict/

 

Oct 17, 2018

In this final installment of a three-part series on conflict, learn four things you can do post-conflict to repair the relationship as quickly as possible.

 

SHOWNOTES:

  • Four Things To Do To Reconnect After A Fight [4:00]
  • Embracing Conflict Weekend Info [10:00]

 

For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for part three in this conflict series visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast215

To sign up for Embracing Conflict Weekend, taking place November 9th - 11th in Boulder, Colorado, visit https://relationshipschool.net/embracingconflict/. Use the promo code "smartcouple" before October 21st and get $100 off!

Oct 10, 2018

In part two of this three-part series on conflict, Jayson breaks down the two skills you need when you're in the heat of it and explains the different types of fights.

SHOWNOTES:

  • Embracing Conflict Weekend Info [1:00]
  • Two Things To Do During Your Next Fight [2:00]
  • The Three Types Of Fights [8:00]

 To sign up for Embracing Conflict Weekend, taking place November 9th - 11th in Boulder, Colorado, click here. Use the promo code "smartcouple" before October 15th and get $100 off!

 For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for part one of this conflict series episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast214 

 

Oct 4, 2018

Few things can rip a partnership or friendship apart like conflict. In part one of this three-part series on conflict, Jayson proposes ten pre-conflict agreements to transform conflict from a threatening experience into a growth opportunity.

SHOWNOTES:

  • Why Learning How To Do Conflict Is Important [1:00]
  • Ten Agreement You Should Make With Your Partner BEFORE Conflict [3:00]
  • Learn How To Do Conflict Well At The Upcoming Embracing Conflict Weekend! [18:00]

For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for part one of this conflict series episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast213

Sep 26, 2018

Weddings include a lot of really great traditions. But those old school 'in sickness and in health' vows suck. Find out how to do vows the right way.

 

SHOWNOTES: 

  • Personalized Wedding Vows Vs Traditional Vows [2:00]
  • Why You Should Revisit Your Vows … Over & Over Again [5:00]
  • Good Vows Challenge Your Partner [7:00]
  • Tell Us About Your Wedding Vows! [11:00]

 

For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this Wedding Vows Dos and Don'ts episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast212

Sep 18, 2018

You've submitted questions. Jayson's got answers! This Ask Me Anything episode addresses feelings of inadequacy and mismatched sex drives.

 

SHOWNOTES:

  • Why We Sometimes Feel We’re Not Enough & What To Do About It [2:00]
  • What To Do When Your Partner Has A Different Sex Drive [6:00]
  • How To Submit Your Questions [10:00]

 

For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this Ask Me Anything episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast211

Sep 6, 2018

 Have a partner, friend or family member with an addiction? Feeling discouraged about their ability to change? Well, often times at the core of addiction ... is a relationship problem.

SHOWNOTES:

  • The Connection Between Addiction And Prior Relationship Issues [2:00]
  • Tips For People Who Love An Addict [4:00]
  • Why Trying To Help Save Them Is A Bad Idea [7:00]
  • Addressing The Addict In Your Life Starts With You [10:00]

 

For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode about addiction and partnership visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast210

Aug 29, 2018

Society often glorifies the caretaker to a saint-like status. But, it’s important to know when caretaking reaches the point of actually being more harmful than helpful.

 

SHOWNOTES:

  • What is Caretaking? [1:00]
  • The Caretaker Blindspot [4:00]
  • Slipping From Being A Caretaker And Into Codependency [7:00]
  • Action Step [10:00]

 

For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode about caretaking visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast209

Aug 22, 2018

Do you feel safe and secure? Seen and understood? Supported and loved? On a daily basis? Are you spending a fortune cleaning up after your failed relationships? In this episode, Jayson answers your questions about DPIR® and breaks down why the course is so worth it. Click here to apply. 

 

SHOWNOTES:

  • Think About WHY You Were Anxious About Going Back To School [1:00]
  • Some Important Questions You Need To Ask Yourself [5:00]
  • You Have Room For Growth & That's A Responsibility [10:00]
  • Some Things You Get In The DPIR Course [15:00]
  • Let's Break Down The Cost To Join DPIR [26:00]
  • Jayson's DPIR Money-Back Guarantee [32:00]

 

For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode about the Deep Psychology of Intimate Relationships (DPIR)® course visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast208

Aug 9, 2018

According to professor and therapist Dr. Alexandra Solomon, engaging your partner in conversation about their past experiences is one of the best things you can do to keep your relationship sexy and exciting. Listen in to find out why!

  • Who is Dr. Alexandra Solomon? [6:00]
  • Alexandra Defines "Relational Self-Awareness" [8:00] 
  • Are Some People Just More Interested In Self-Awareness? [10:00]
  • How Gender Norms Encourage Defensiveness [13:00]
  • Alexandra’s Theories About Why People Avoid Introspection [23:00]
  • How To Start Investigating Your History [31:00] 
  • Why It’s Never Okay To Use Stories From Their Past Against Them [37:00]
  • Things Alexandra is Learning Her Own Marriage [40:00] 
  • Why Self-Care It Vital To A Healthy Partnership [42:00]
  • Relational Themes Dr. Solomon Is Seeing Working With Students [49:00
  • Getting Better At Relationship To Bring About Social Change [55:00]

FREE WEB CLASS - Aug. 14th - CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP! 

For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Dr. Alexandra Solomon visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast207

Aug 1, 2018

You know those couples where the woman handles almost everything and the man, well ... kind of kicks back and acts like a teenager? That's the mother-son dynamic and in this episode, you'll learn how to escape that relationship trap and figure out why it happens in the first place.

  • The Mom-Son Dynamic From A Woman’s Perspective [3:00]
  • The Mom-Son Dynamic From A Guy’s Perspective [5:00]
  • How to Help A Couple Living In A Parent-Child Relationship [9:00]
  • How The Male Ego Comes Into Play [16:00]

 

For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Ellen Boeder visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast206

Jul 25, 2018

As grand prize winners of a recent Smart Couple podcast contest, Heather and Thomas got to sit down for a free session with Jayson. In this emotional and inspiring interview, Jayson helps Heather and Thomas dig into their past to find answers they've been seeking for years.

  • Heather Lays Out Her Side Of The Story [8:00]
  • Thomas Connects With Heather’s Past [20:00]
  • Find Out WHY Your Partner Reacts That Way [28:00]
  • Where Does The Smack You Talk To Yourself Come From? [38:00]
  • Ways To Shake Things Up If You Spend Too Much Time Together [42:00]
  • Jayson Explains The Contest [47:00]

 

COUPLES CONTEST DETAILS: 

You must complete all three steps to qualify. No exceptions. 
 
1. Apply separately by clicking HERE
 
2. Pay $25 total together (per couple, not per person) by clicking HERE
 
3. Record a selfie video together as to why you want to do this. 1-3 minutes long. Send to info@relationshipschool.net, with "SC 205 Contest" in the subject line, and if you feel inspired post it in the Smart Couple FB group too.
 
Grand Prize: One FREE spot for the DPIR 9-month training, which includes two live workshops in Boulder, CO! One person pays in full, and the partner is free. So basically it's two for the price of one! (Value is $6,000)
If selected you must be willing to have us document your journey, no matter what happens to you as a couple. We want to show people what's possible if you invest in your relationship like this! 
 
All Participants Win: One FREE [couples] coaching session with one of our Level 2 Relationship Coaches. (Value is $100)
 
So you can’t lose! 
 
Deadline to enter: Sunday, June 29th by Midnight MT 
 
 
Winners will be announced August 3rd.
 
 
 
For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Heather and Thomas visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast205
Jul 11, 2018

 A lot of things you take personally in relationship have very little to do with your partner. Those issues are really the result of YOUR past, YOUR triggers and YOUR perspective...So says long-time Boulder, Colorado therapist & expert in the field of Child and Adult Attachment Theory and Models, Dr. Diane Poole Heller. 

  • How The Therapy Field Chose Diane [7:00]
  • Why The Attachment Model Is So Central To Diane’s Work [12:00]
  • The Kind Eyes Exercise [19:00]
  • The Three Attachment Styles [21:00]
  • Why Are You Complaining About Your Great Partnership? [32:00]
  • Starting A Relationship Revolution With Secure Attachment [41:00]
  • The Effects of A Disorganized Relationship Environment [46:00]
  • Diane’s Method For Repairing From A Damaging Relationship [52:00]
  • Don’t Sabotage Your Healthy Relationship Because Of Your Attachment Issues [1:01:00]
  • Why You Shouldn’t Try To Heal Trauma Alone [1:03:00]
  • Using Mental Time Travel (Autonoesis) For Healing [1:08:00]
  • Diane’s Take On Why People Experience Repeated Trauma [1:11:00]
  • Diane’s Jem Of Advice For Young Adults & Not Taking Things Personally [1:17:00]

 

For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Diane Poole Heller visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast204

Jul 3, 2018

We all want a little reassurance. And that's okay! But as Jayson's wife Ellen Boeder points out, if you're needing reassurance because you feel jealous, the issue you should address is the insecurity in your relationship.

  • Is Monogamy The Problem Or Insecure Attachment? [1:00]
  • The Power Of Reassurance [5:00]
  • Two Impediments To Reassurance [10:00]
  • Navigating A Jealous Partnership [13:00]


For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Ellen Boeder visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast203

Jun 27, 2018

What does it take to build a strong team-style partnership? Why do so many entrepreneurial types rely on teamwork in their careers, but struggle to be a team player at home?

Renowned therapist and co-founder of The Couples Institue, Pete Pearson, leads Jayson through a body-mind exercise that demonstrates ways to control reaction to stress in conflict and improve teamwork. 

  • What Catapulted Pete Pearson Into The Psychology World? [5:00]
  • Why Entrepreneurial & Military Types Struggle With Teamwork At Home [8:00]
  • How To Negotiate With Your Partner Well [14:00]
  • Pete Walks Jayson Through A Calming Exercise [21:00]
  • How Entrepreneurs Respond To Pete’s Self-Strengthening Technique [38:00]
  • Advice For People In Love With An Entrepreneur [44:00]
  • Pete’s Feedback For The Therapeutic Community [47:00]

For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Pete Pearson visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast202

Jun 20, 2018

Are you just defaulting to monogamy?

Ever GENUINELY asked yourself, "Would a different sexual model work better for me?"

Author, sex-advice columnist, podcaster and public speaker, Dan Savage, says we should all ask ourselves these questions regularly. Dan and his husband have chosen what they call a "monogamish" relationship. They've accepted that it's impossible to fulfill all your partner's needs and that's a message we can all learn from.

We usually focus on monogamous long-term relationships, but in this episode, we'll learn about how all types of relationships can be successful. Listen in and get ready for some introspection into your own sexual expression.

SHOWNOTES:

  • What It Means To Be "Monogamish" [2:00]
  • Culture’s Lies About Love & Why You’ll Never Be Enough [9:00]
  • Advice For Bringing A Third Person Into Your Relationship [13:00]
  • Why Non-Monogamy In A Gay Partnership Can Be Easier Straight Relationships [21:00]
  • Thoughts On Transforming The Broken Monogamy Model [28:00]
  • Dan Savage’s Journey To Becoming Monogamish [30:00]
  • How Dan And His Husband Work Out Their Differences [34:00]
  • Is Infidelity Really The Ultimate Betrayal? [41:00]
  • The Consequences Of Denying Your Sexual Needs [46:00]
  • Closing Thoughts [51:00]

For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Dan Savage visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast201

Jun 13, 2018

It's fair to say that relationship is a journey to discover and learn the answers to one love-related question after another. So, what better way to celebrate this in our 200th EPISODE than to answer as many of your love related questions as we can!

SHOWNOTES: 

  • 200th Episode Contest Details! [2:00]
  • Doing Partnership With Emotionally Unavailable People [11:00] 
  • How To Hold Your Partner's Feet To The Fire - With Compassion [20:00]
  • Working Through Past Pain For A Better Relationship [24:00] 
  • How to Prioritize Your Partner When Kids Join The Mix [27:00] 
  • Getting Involved In Your Partner's Health Issues [34:00]

 

‘Win a Chance to be Coached By Jayson'
 
To celebrate our 200th Smart Couple episode, we're giving away some big prizes:
 
Grand Prize - A 45-minute coaching session for you (or you and your partner) with Jayson
2nd Prize - $500 off your DPIR course
3rd Prize - $200 credit for any Relationship School®  course
4th Prize - $30 to be used in the Relationship School®  store
5th Prize - Smart Couple Quote Book signed by Jayson
 
Boom! Who’s in?
 
To enter and win you must:
1. Be or become a member of the Smart Couple Facebook group.
2. Follow Jayson on Instagram and tag 3 friends under his most recent selfie (looks like the one above).
3. Record a selfie video (2 minutes or less) teaching us about one thing you learned from the podcast so far and why it's impacted you so much. And post it in the Smart Couple Facebook group.
The contest is open to anyone in the world until Sunday, June 17th at midnight MT. Winners will be announced on the Smart Couple Podcast's 201st episode and on Facebook Wednesday, June 20th.
 
Will you play? Enter today!
 
For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for our 200th episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast200
Jun 7, 2018
Couples therapy legends Harville Hendrix & Helen Hunt were told by THEIR therapist that they were the couple from hell. Since then, not only have they mended, they've gone on to write multiple best-selling books that have revolutionized the therapy field.
 
SHOWNOTES:
  • Understanding "Connection" [8:00]
  • What Does 'Imago' Mean, According To The Word's Inventors [15:00]
  • Harville & Helen's Response To Imago Therapy Criticism [20:00]
  • How Harville & Helen’s Turned Their Relationship Around [30:00]
  • What is Zero Negativity? [35:00]
  • Tips For Staying Together In The Face of Separation [40:00]
  • Thoughts For The Therapy Field From Helen & Harville [49:00]
 
For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Harville Hendrix & Helen Hunt visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast199
 
May 30, 2018

Having awesome friends is great. Having awesome friends that are ALSO on the personal growth path IS BETTER!

Personal growth powerhouses Reuvain Bacal, Will Vanderveer, Keith Kurlander & Jayson Gaddis are longtime friends with a quarter century of coaching & self-improvement experience between them. Listen in on their convo!

 

SHOWNOTES:

  • Who Are These Guys? [9:00]
  • The Value Of Community [13:00]
  • How These Four Bros Get Through Conflict With Each Other [21:00]
  • Things The Guys Have Called Each Other On [27:00]
  • How These Men Are Defining Love Today [37:00]
  • What Inspires These Friends The Most [51:00]
  • What Does It Mean to Have a Healthy Mind? [1:09:00]
  • Parting Words of Wisdom [1:24:00]

 

FREE CLASS FOR MEN ONLY - CLICK HERE!

 For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Keith Kurlander, Will Vanderveer and Reuvain Bacal visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast198

May 23, 2018
We all have a tendency to avoid things that are difficult but Human Connection Specialist and dating coach, Mark Groves, knows where there's pain there's gain. Let's take a look at our wounded, angry warrior sides and see what they have to teach us about loving well!
 
SHOWNOTES:
  • Are You Fixing People to Boost Your Control? [8:00]
  • Overusing of the "Narcissist" Title [16:00]
  • The Value of Accessing Your Anger [21:00]
  • So Your Relationships Are Tough - Stop Running! [28:00]
  • How to Tap Into Your Inner Warrior [31:00]
  • Skillful and Attractive Anger [34:00]
  • Staying in The Hurt [48:00]
  • Why You Should Be Going to Conferences (Like MOTU) [52:00]
  • Leaving Friends Behind When You’re Growing [54:00]
P.S. Mark is HOOKING US UP with $200 off tickets to the Masters Of The [U]niverse Summit in Vancouver this July! I'll be presenting along with many other crazy inspiring speakers. Just enter the code "Smart Couple" when you get your tickets. Click here to get started. 
 
For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast197
May 16, 2018

Who knew saying the words "I'm insecure" could be so sexy!?! It's time to uncover those insecurities, let go of the entitlement and celebrate where you're really at on your growth path.

 

SHOWNOTES:

  • Why Insecurity Gets a Bad Rap [2:00]
  • Call B.S. on Your Insecure Friends! [5:00]
  • What Does it Mean to be ”Entitled” [6:00]
  • Your Action Step - It’ll Make You Look Sexy! [9:00]

 

For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast196

May 9, 2018

Coaches Neil Sattin and Chloe Urban are a great example of a couple getting it right in the face of some serious challenges. Listen closely and you can snag some of their most helpful relationship tools!

 

SHOWNOTES:

  • Chloe Urban and Neil Sattin’s Love Story [5:00]
  • Advice for Couples When Step-Kids Are Involved [11:00]
  • Why We Fail To Stand Up For Who We Are In Partnership [25:00]
  • Primal Fears [27:00]
  • How Does “Safety” Play a Role In Neil and Chloe's Relationship [31:00]
  • Tip to Repair Relationship Disconnection [36:00]
  • Dr. Pete Levine’s “Vu-ing” Technique for Self-Regulation [41:00]
  • Chole & Neil’s Spiritual Practice-Relationship Intersection [45:00]
  • When One Member of a Couple Doesn’t Have a Spiritual Practice [50:00]

 

For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Neil Sattin and Chloe Urban visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast195

May 2, 2018

Jayson met up with renowned couples therapy expert and author, Ellyn Bader, at this year's Interpersonal Neurobiology Conference at UCLA. WOW, was she a treasure trove of insight. Not just theories and concepts, but insight that can be used every day.

SHOWNOTES:

  • Who is Ellyn Bader? [3:00]
  • Anxiety vs Growth-Promoting Anxiety in Relationship [7:00]
  • Three Different Decision-Making Strategies For Couples [16:00]
  • Ellyn’s Insight for Therapists [21:00]
  • Why Telling Your Partner What You "Need" Can be Problematic [29:00]
  • The Confusion Around Differentiation vs Individuation [37:00]
  • What Ellyn Means When She Asks, "Are You a Lie Invitee?" [47:00]

For the full Smart Couple Podcast webpage for this episode featuring Ellyn Bader visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast194

Apr 25, 2018

Right now, researchers and the public are fascinated with brain science and Dr. Dan Siegel is a legend in that department. Jayson and Dr. Siegel dig in deep in this one, discussing autoimmune disease, rewiring the brain, GMO food, struggles in the therapy field and so much more.d and so much more.

SHOWNOTES:

  • Why It’s Important to Have Healthy Adult Relationships for Good Health [12:00]
  • Dr. Siegel's Thoughts on Epigenetics [15:00]
  • The 5 Parts of Making Meaning [24:00]
  • Emotion & The Importance of Subjective Experience [29:00]
  • Autoimmune Disorders, Gluten and GMO Foods [41:00]
  • Adverse Childhood Experiences and Illness [46:00]
  • Where Are Therapist Falling Short And What Are They Doing Well [1:00:00]
  • Dr. Siegel's Advice for Young People [1:06:00]

 

For the full web posting for this Smart Couple Podcast episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast193

Apr 10, 2018

A new study shows child abuse should be considered the second largest cause of illness in the U.S.. And yet, our diagnostic system ignores trauma completely. Listen to what trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk has to say about that and get his insight into turning traumatic pain into personal power!

 

SHOWNOTES:

  • Bessel Responds to The Allegations Against Him [10:00]
  • 2nd Largest National Health Problem: Child Abuse  [17:00]
  • Avoiding Seeing Trauma Victims as Broken People [20:00]
  • Why Meds Don't Cure Trauma [28:00]
  • Explained: Why Child Abuse Can Lead to More Abuse [38:00]
  • The Harm in Telling a Trauma Story Over and Over

 

For the full web posting for this Smart Couple Podcast episode visit https://relationshipschool.net/podcast191

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