Here’s a good question from a listener. Essentially it’s about physical attractiveness and size. Check it out:

Question: I’m newly interested in a man after being single for 4 years, I have a 5 year old son.  My biggest issue is getting over the ‘drug-effect’ of having someone new and really discovering why we should or are together. I’m all about getting the ‘high’ and attracting guys who are physically fit and are the perfect eye candy to have on my arm.  Right now the guy I’m seeing is just the opposite and I’m having a hard time with it.  

Not only that, but his package is small and the sex is not good at all. In fact, he has not been able to even be turned on by me enough to have intercourse. That really hurt me, so we have not had sex since.  I’m looking for ways for us to strengthen our relationship after this experience and advice on how I can get past not having the physically fit man on my arm.

• What happens if your man has a small penis… and can’t get an erection? [8:00]
• We attract what we most need to learn [9:00]
• What matters short-term vs what matters long-term [11:00]
• Embracing yourself as you are [14:00]
• How to approach a guy in this situation [16:00]
• Not taking it personally [17:00]

Are you in an abusive relationship? In this episode we explore some of the hallmarks of an "abusive" relationship and what to do with any form of disrespect, neglect, or abuse. It's actually harder than you think and there's more work to do than to just "leave" the relationship. I answer loads of questions from listeners like you on abuse in your relationship life. I think there might be some confronting and helpful information in here for you.

SHOWNOTES

• What is an abusive relationship? My definition might surprise you [9:00]
• How to know if you’re in an abusive adult relationship [11:00]
• The difference between fault and responsibility [13:00]
• How we heal trauma [14:00]
• Why ‘just leave’ is often the wrong advice [17:00]
• What to do if your physical safety is threatened [22:00]
• The definition of ‘gaslighting’ [24:00]
• Name calling [31:00]
• Discover your criteria for abuse [34:00]
• The I, You and We of thriving partnerships [36:00]
• On mutually abusive relationships [44:00]
• Dealing with Stonewalling [46:00]
• The ‘deer in headlights’ response - and how to use it to your advantage [49:00]
• If you’re a man in an abusive relationship [51:00]
• Learning the difference between real and perceived threats [56:00]
• Firmness vs Anger [1:04:00]
• Your action step [1:06:00]

I’ve been in my current relationship for 15 months. Right off the bat, we rushed into it both freshly out of our relationships. At 3 months he started ‘hardcore flirting’  in messages to facebook friends of his. He didn’t hide it, but I’m sure he didn’t expect me to see it. I found out because he disappearing act one evening and lied to me at first about where he was.  A few days later, I was shocked, he was sexually flirting with others via messenger.  I confronted him and he told me he loves me.  “It was just talk, didn’t mean anything,” that his intentions were not to follow through on any of it, I had nothing to worry about. Besides this crap, he’s great.  He’s good to me.  

Do I get over my fear of him going too far at some point, losing him and just ignore the things he does privately, or do I/should I have ran the other direction as fast as I can?

• Finding your ‘line’ with flirting [3:00]
• What if my partner gets defensive when I ask them about it? [5:00]
• Find your truth: what works for you, what doesn’t [7:00]
• How to talk to your partner if you’re uncomfortable with their flirting [10:00]

Money and Relationships! Some say this is one of the top 3 reasons people get divorced. So, do the two of you feel "on the same page" with money or is it a source of tension? If you feel challenged in any way around money in your relationship life, then listen to my friend Bari Tessler breakdown 4 steps to being a more empowered team around money. Any smart couple will want to get this part of their relationship handled and this podcast will be a great start

SHOWNOTES

• Bari’s Money Story [9:00]
• Combining ‘money-stories’ with your partner: avoid the pitfalls [16:00]
• What to do when one person in the relationship handles most of the finances [17:00]
• How men and women can think differently about finances -  and why it’s important to understand money your way [20:00]
• Have you ever been surprised by a partner’s financial problems, months (or even years) into your relationship? Here’s how to handle it [21:00]
• When, where and how to bring up the ‘money’ talk [23:00]
• Should you be saving your grocery receipts? Merging our money can be an important step in a relationship (but it’s not for everyone) [25:00]
• Dealing with shame around money [30:00]
• The risks we take by not dealing with our money [34:00]
• Asking for help with your finances shame-free [35:00]
• Doing the emotional work first [38:00]
• A practical tool for dealing with money day-to-day [40:00]
• How to have ‘money-dates’ with your partner [42:00]
• The four phases of money with your honey [47:00]
• What happens when your partner wants to buy something ‘fun and expensive’? [57:00]
• Getting clear on your money-map [1:01:00]

A great 3-part question from Nathan from Oregon particularly pertaining to relationships as a young adult. He's also wanting to find mature relationships and act more mature. Check it out. 

SHOWNOTES

Question - Part 1: How do you navigate technology in relationships?  When is it connecting? When is it disconnecting?  As phones and technological tools are becoming more necessities, how do we use them from a place of strength?

• The Do’s and Don’ts of Texting and Fighting (especially if it’s serious) [3:00]
• How to address ‘scary’ topics face-to-face - words to use and when to say them [5:00]

Question - Part 2: In an early stage of life, how do you determine what is really your authentic self and not just a reflection of external influences - anything from hormones to parents?

• What young people can do to discover who they are, what they want and what they value [7:00]

Question - Part 3: Could you offer any advice on how to form new relationships, or your first relationships, or how to identify people you want to bring in or keep in your life?

• A mindset shift that all young adults need to make (some never do) before they can find their path in life and work  [10:00]
• How to become the kind of person who has high-quality, mature relationships [13:30]

Roots Community: JaysonGaddis.com/roots

Annie Lalla brings the heat in this amazing episode full of love and wisdom. Damn can this woman spin some distinctions and reframe so many challenges with simple, detailed examples of how we can transform our relationships into the magic we long for. I know you're going to dig this one. A must listen to probably 2 or 3 times.

SHOWNOTES

• How to use conflict to access your shadow [10:00]
• Learning to use conflict and complaints to build your relational and emotional muscles [12:00]
• A practical tool to help you become a master of conflict in your relationship [16:00]
• How to handle disagreements in parenting [17:30]
• A specific process you can follow whenever you feel triggered after being criticized [20:00]
• How to effectively deliver feedback in a way that (almost) guarantees a positive reaction from your partner [22:30]
• A powerful breathing & thought exercise to do as soon as you're triggered [24:00]
• The power that pre-emptive delight can have on your emotional 'bank account' [27:15]
• An easy (and fun) way to heal your relationship to your parents [29:00]
• The concept of  'intergenerational envy' and how it can put you back in control of healing your wounds from childhood [32:00]
• How to give and receive feedback without destroying your relationship [36:00]
• For men: how to best use your tone of voice to give feedback that lands with love [37:00]
• The most important role a wife has in her husband's life [39:00]
• An elegant 'family hack' to reduce fights and resentments that you can start using tonight  [40:00]
• What to do if your partner doesn't want to work on your relationship with you [45:00]
• Annie's definition of 'True Love' [47:00]
• Your Action Step [58:00]

• Why is emotional intensity so difficult for some guys to deal with? [1:20]
• Why some men can’t handle being around women (and people) who are depressed or going through intense emotional experiences.[4:15]
• Action step: A constructive way to think and act when we ‘don’t like’ something about our partner. [5:50]

Show Notes

• Charles’ relationship story. [9:50]
• How we know if we’re ready for marriage. [13:00]
• Why do you people get divorced in January? [15:00]
• The #1 thing you can do to prevent a “January Divorce”. [17:00]
• A micro step you can take to ratchet up the ‘honesty’ in your relationship. [19:00]
• How to get real, raw and say the hard truths (and how NOT to say it). [21:00]
• How Charles recently got through a super tough time in his relationship.[22:00]
• How to know when a relationship has run its course. [25:00]
• The pacts to make with yourself that help you take responsibility and take back control of your happiness in relationships. [28:00]
• The reason great relationships take effort - and how to use that effort to create the best possible relationship. [34:00]
• An unusual type of therapy that Charles uses to turn peoples marriages around. [38:00]
• Your action step.

GUEST BIO

Charles J. Orlando is a relationship expert and bestselling author of The Problem with Women... is Men book series and The Pact: Goodbye, Past. Hello, Love!, and the upcoming graphic novella Don't Date A Dick, and he serves as expert host of the hit show Seven Year Switch on FYI (currently in its second season).

 Referred to as "The Malcolm Gladwell of Relationships" by the media, and "Carrie Bradshaw-meets-Hitch" by his readers, Charles has built a 1,400,000+ person fanbase on Facebook—completely by word-of-mouth—where he offers free, street-smart love advice to men and women around the world. Charles has personally connected with tens of thousands of singles and couples to discover the answers to key questions that plague modern-day romance: What challenges plague romantic relationships in today's technology-centric world; and what do women and men truly want from their significant others—and themselves—in a long-term relationship? 

We all have a wall in our most intimate relationships. Find out how to take down that wall in a way that works for you. I've got the first step laid out for you. 

SHOWNOTES

• Martina asks her question [5:00]
• The first step in dealing with fear. [7:30]
• How your parents influence your relationship with your partner. [8:00]
• The truth about fear. [12:00]
• Jayson gives an action step. [15:00]