This episode was a lot of fun. Former dedicated David Deida student Adam Gilad brings some excellent advice during this dialogue. We cover fatherhood, dating, marriage, and why Adam couldn’t do relationship early on and what he “figured out” along the way. He also shares his most recent wedding vows and so much more. I think you’re in for a treat here.
SHOWNOTES:
In this 2nd installment of AMAR (Ask Me Anything about Relationships) I dive into your burning questions and it gets a little intense in there! Thanks for bringing it everyone!
SHOWNOTES:
There’s a lot of great questions in here including:
And more!
This is a pretty charged issue. On the one hand, some people really believe divorce is one of the major culprits to kid’s problems. On the other hand, newer research suggests that kids are fine coming from divorced families, and in fact may even be more resilient and capable of handling life’s challenges. If you really think divorce is going to mess up your kids, think again…Listen in, then weigh in with a comment below.
SHOWNOTES:
Co-dependency gets a bad rap in most circles. I used to shame it as well. Yet, as I’ve matured, I’ve come to see that there is a lot of value to be found in co-dependency, yet it’s important to know the difference between the more neurotic kind and the wisdom kind. In this episode I go into what co-dependency is, where it comes from, and how we can relate to it with grace and honesty in our long-term relationships.
SHOWNOTES:
“I love you, but I’m not in love with you…” Maybe you’ve heard this one before, or even said it yourself to someone you were breaking up with? I know I have in past relationships. If you’ve used this statement, or been on the receiving end of it, you need to listen to this podcast. There’s much more to the story. Find out by listening in…
SHOWNOTES:
This episode was a lot of fun. Terry Real brings the heat for women and men using what he calls “fierce intimacy.” While this episode is for both men and women, it is largely geared toward women who are with a guy who’s not fully on board. He has some great advice for women, while at the same time challenges men to develop their relationship skills. I know you’ll dig this one.
SHOWNOTES:
If you’ve ever skied, surfed, or gone outdoor climbing, there’s a good chance you’ve experienced that elusive peak state of awareness referred to as “flow”. Time slows, thoughts disappear, your sense of self seems to merge with the present moment, and everything just…flows! The flow state brings high levels of creativity, learning and connection…all things that we want in our relationships. In this episode, I bring on flow expert Jamie Wheal to dig into an important question: How can we bring this peak state into our long-term partnerships? We also hear deeply personal, wisdom-packed stories from Jamie on the evolution of his partnership. You’re going to enjoy this one.
SHOWNOTES:
There are 3 key components of Flow:
1. Rich Environments
2. Deep Embodiment
3. High Consequence
In this episode, I’m joined by a panel of courageous men: Booster Blake, Jeffrey Platts, Adrial Dale, and Christopher Sunyata. These men have all done work on themselves, and so are able to get honest and talk openly about their sexuality, their victories and challenges with intimacy, with relationship, and with their bodies in the bedroom. I think you’ll appreciate the transparency of these men.
SHOWNOTES:
Most of the time, when we fight with a partner, we “bicker” or go in circles because we are missing what the fight is really about. In this episode we examine the 3 things people fight about most. It will be essential to listen to this so you know what the deeper layer of your fights are really about. Why does this matter? So you can get to the real issue and resolve it.
SHOWNOTES:
I really enjoyed this conversation with Zen teacher Diane Hamilton. She brings such a genuine willingness to move toward what’s uncomfortable in our relationships. We explore why she left the mormon church and how she got into zen practice. We also take a good look at parenting, marriage, and why it’s so paramount to be able to take our partner’s point of view. I know you’ll appreciate this dialogue.
SHOWNOTES:
In this episode I unpack 3 really important steps to removing the drama from your relationships. Drama can be a time suck, an energy drain, and can hurt your relationship even more. So, check this short episode out and notice if you are perpetuating drama, or doing your best to end it.
SHOWNOTES:
Bruce was one of THE pivotal factors in helping me marry my wife before she slammed the door shut on me. Hear that story in this episode and why it’s so common for couples to struggle. Bruce offers a powerful frame for relationship and intimacy and makes the distinction between the developmental work we need to do, and the possibility that we are “already free” in relationship. Check it.
SHOWNOTES:
I got a serious education in this interview with Christiane and Ren. I can get so focused on men’s issues that I lose sight of what’s occurring for women. So, needless to say, this episode was very helpful. Since I have a daughter, I’m particularly interested in how to raise her in a “good” way around her own sexuality. Sure, my wife’s got so much of that covered, but as her Dad, I’m eager to support her unfolding in the most beautiful way possible. So, thanks to these two women and the women who were brave enough to ask some tough questions of themselves and their sexuality. I’m learning and I’m grateful.
SHOWNOTES:
This is another great podcast, and our first one around sexuality, especially as it pertains to men (women’s sexuality coming in the next episode). David and I explore my own challenges and triumphs and what’s going on in the male mind when it comes to getting stuck around “performing” in the bedroom. You’ll dig it.
SHOWNOTES:
Can plant medicine such as Ayahuasca help our marriages? In this episode I interview two very experienced guests who have both done over 500 ceremonies with this sacred medicine. We dive deep into this question, highlighting Ayahuasca’s strengths as a healing modality and where this medicine may fall short when it comes to interpersonal relationships.
SHOWNOTES:
In this episode Jayson fields a bunch of great questions from listeners like you.
Here are a few of the edited questions:
Can MDMA help our relationships if we do this in a legit way? I explore this question with Dr Vanderveer and we zero in on some key factors if you want to improve your marriage or relationship life using medicine such as MDMA.
SHOWNOTES
Man is this guy a force! I dive into a vibrant conversation with integral-psychotherapist and writer Dr. Keith Witt. Topics range from growth, depression, working with shadow, evolutionary drivers, marriage, parenting and much more. Bring a notepad for this one! And, get the rewind button ready…
SHOWNOTES:
People don’t trust you when you are misaligned. You say you’re “fine” but really you feel angry. Or you say “I love you” but your body language is saying something different. This causes people to pull back from you.
The more congruent someone is the more trustworthy they are.
We get really pissed when our partner is out of alignment. In fact, we even resent them over time. But that is often a reflection of our own misalignment.
In This episode you will learn:
This episode is key for millennials who are about to get married. Too many people skip this conversation prior to marriage.
IN THIS EPISODE, You will learn:
Affairs are so intense. When I was 20 or so I cheated on my girlfriend. When I was 32 or so I had an emotional affair. In this episode I share more about what I learned about myself during those and then I discuss why so many affairs happen and what you can do about it.
IN THIS EPISODE, You will learn:
IN THIS EPISODE, You will learn:
There’s a ton in this episode so dive in and go slow.
You will also want to check out Annie’s blog post “Should I stay or Should I Go?”
And, Here’s a great question from Annie to ask yourself if you are trying to decide to stay or leave:
Is the person I’m being called to become by what my partner’s asking me to become (if you take on the growth-development framework), will you become a more extraordinary version of yourself? If who they are asking you to become is a constricted, small, tight version of you, then this is probably not the person you want to be with.
However, if you identify as the smaller version of you, then, you are going to hear your partner’s feedback as criticism and blame and might make them wrong in the process. So, pay attention to these finer points.
IN THIS EPISODE, You will learn:
And check out these four stages of relationship. We explore these in the episode.
1. Me-centered
2. We-centered codependent
3. We-centered co-independent
4. Being-centered
I had a lot of fun with this one. These two “get” long term relationship and what’s required to go the distance. They also know a great deal about shame, blame, and how to get over it by going to the next stage in your relationship. Robert also supports the power of men facing their own BS and his new book “To Be A Man” is going to be worth the read for the men out there.
Note, our call got “dropped” by skype at one point so you’ll notice the sound quality change a bit. Just a heads up.
IN THIS EPISODE, you will learn:
IN THIS EPISODE, you will learn: