I’m a big fan of esteemed psychologist Dr. Ed Tronick and was stoked to pick his brain in episode 296 of the podcast. Join us for an amazing conversation on The Still Face Experiment, relationship dynamics, his new book and much more.
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In episode 295 of the podcast I continue our race conversation with Michael Taylor and Jon Walton, 2 friends of TRS whose life’s work is to educate others and lift up people of color.
Check it out.
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As the anti-racism protests and movement continue to spread across our country, I wanted to represent a few Black voices on the podcast to help me/us get involved.
In early 2019, I took a 7-week class for white people on equity, race, and diversity. Louiza “Weeze” Doran, who took time out of her insanely busy schedule right now, was one of my teachers.
I consider her one of my main mentors when it comes to the subject of racism.
Weeze is a coach, educator, political activist, organizer, and strategist, among many other things. She’s in direct action toward moving the system forward to equity, justice, inclusion, and liberation for the Black community.
Weeze and I talk about how we’re doing in our response so far after the George Floyd murder, 3 things that white people can do right now to support, and our historical culture of whiteness. She helps me get clear on how to define racism and what it looks like in everyday life, because it’s not always so obvious. She also answers some great questions from my listeners.
This is an amazing listen, folks. It will wake you up, may make you uncomfortable (and that’s a good thing -- it means you’re being activated!) and inspire you to look at your own life and take action.
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As the pandemic continues, one of the most charged topics that’s come up is mask wearing. Many people are wearing them because their area requires it and/or they think it’ll help stop the spread. Others aren’t because their area has more relaxed rules and/or they think it’s holding them back from a much-needed return to normal life.
Either way, it’s turned into a divisive issue with people internally or even publicly shaming each other for wearing or not wearing a mask.
This is a prime example of conflict, something that happens in our intimate relationships all the time. We want others to conform to our values and do what we’re doing. But this behavior just isn’t realistic.
Join me in episode 293 of the RS podcast to dig deeper into the issue and discuss how we can resolve a lot of the conflict we feel by actively listening to each other and learning about both viewpoints.
Useful Links:
https://relationshipschool.com/rct/
As a man, I have wrestled with my sexuality most of my life.
That’s why I love it when other men are willing to “go there.”
Here’s another rich conversation with two men getting honest about us guys in the bedroom.
I first spoke to Destin Gerek a few years ago in episode 98 about evolving masculinity, and the man who used to call himself the Erotic Rockstar joins me again in episode 292 to build off that conversation and talk his new book The Evolved Masculine: Be the Man the World Needs & the One She Craves.
We discuss what an evolved man looks like 2020, why some men fear their masculinity, and the vulnerability of embracing the feminine within. We also talk intimately about common male sexuality issues and feeling satisfied not only with our partners, but with ourselves.
This is a good one for men AND women -- go check it out!
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In episode 291 of The Relationship School podcast I spoke with CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke, co-founders of Thrive! Inc. coaching and consulting which specializes in resolving conflict in the workplace and using it to fuel greater teamwork and collective creativity.
They’ve worked with everyone from tech startups to Fortune 100 companies and have written books on the subject and even started their own podcast.
The two women, also life partners, have pretty incredible life stories and are just as passionate about conflict as I am, albeit in a corporate setting.
We talked about some of their own defining moments with conflict, speaking up to power, the importance of having real conversations, and how embracing conflict, as awful as it can be, can truly be life changing.
Have a listen!
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Did I choose the wrong person? Are we just incompatible? These are a few of the tough questions many couples ask themselves at some point in their relationship, usually when that blissful honeymoon period ends and real life sh*t begins.
And there’s an even more important question to ask if you are interested in this subject. It boils down to what you both want.
Join me in episode 290 of the RS podcast for a quick but meaningful conversation about incompatibility with me and my wife Ellen. We chat about when incompatibility issues typically arise, why it happens (i.e. when the stress comes in, the truth comes out), and how being different people doesn’t automatically make you incompatible.
If you are thinking you and your partner (or ex) might be incompatible, this is a must listen.
Come learn the bigger question we need to ask ourselves about our partners and if the relationship is right for you.
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The brain is a beautiful thing, isn’t it? Our brains are what shape us as human beings, but do you ever wonder what’s shaping your brain?
Join me in Episode 289 as I chat with neuroscientist Dr. Judy Cameron about her breakthrough research into the brain and how we as adults can help our children have sturdier brain development (this is so important for our future).
In the past, brain development was thought to be mainly due to genetic programming, but Dr. Cameron shares how it’s actually life experiences from the time you’re born onward that play a larger role.
That means giving our children healthy experiences right now is key for them to build the best brains possible!
Come listen and prepare for some mind-blowing stuff!
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Making love is a pretty straightforward act, but man do we love to make it complicated.
How society views sex has always been messy and made wose -- hold your gasp of surprise here -- for women.
It’s about time we ditch this double standard, right?
Join me as I chat with relationship expert and Relationship School Ambassador Dr. Alexandra Solomon about sexuality, relational self awareness and all the complexities of sex (and boy there are a lot of them).
We discuss how the resurgence of the #MeToo movement in 2017 was the final push she needed to write her new book Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want.
Dr. Solomon, also the author of Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want, wanted to add her voice and contribute to this new chapter in conversations around gender, power and sex.
Come listen as we talk more about the inspiration behind her writing and what women can do to discover their own unique erotic expression.
Useful Links:
Did you know 1 in 10 Americans take an antidepressant? Yup.
For some, the treatment can really help. Yet for many, it doesn’t do much. The COVID-19 pandemic is pushing people like never before.
Some of us in a good way, but others are suffering even more. In fact, I think we’re on the brink of a mental health crisis.
That’s why I asked my good friend Dr. Will Vanderveer, an integrative psychiatrist, to speak to us about what we can do as practitioners (therapists and coaches), but also as people who suffer from mental health challenges such as depression.
I think you’ll find this very eye opening. Listen now!
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Have you let someone know how you are lately? How you really are? Because it’s okay to not be okay right now.
I encourage you to be more honest with yourself and your friends and family when we all share how we’re holding up in this uncertain world. How did they handle your truth?
In this podcast, I check in with you and share 3 tips on how to face interpersonal stress and conflict and only get stronger from it.
This is good advice anytime of year, but especially now when our relationships are experiencing way more stress than normal.
Because we all crave human contact, but what happens when we’re constantly in close quarters with people? Or all by ourselves? Stress and conflict, that’s what. But it doesn’t have to be that way!
Please listen and start taking action now to better your situation tomorrow.
And, as always, share with someone you know who is struggling.
Depending on your situation, the pandemic and economic uncertainty can leave any “normal” person feeling out of control, overwhelmed, or afraid.
So, here is a great interview with my friend who is a skilled meditation instructor.
Cory walks you through a simple process you can do in 5-10 minutes that will help you calm down and regain control of your thinking and your emotions.
Please listen and/or forward to someone you know who is struggling.
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Word is that child abuse and domestic violence are on the rise right now due to people being stuck at home.
And, if China is any indication, divorce could increase a lot once we are through this. “Shelter in place” is a great move with a big downside for some people.
If you are stuck at home with people that are difficult, including a roommate or partner, lockdown isn’t that fun. In fact, it can bring out the worst in us.
So, my wife and I thought we’d record a short podcast with some tips for couples who are feeling stuck at home
Plus, if you have children, there’s a bonus section at the end of this podcast with my kids!
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This is an extremely intimate and powerful episode with world-renowned speaker Philip McKernan.
He asks you 2 questions that can completely change how you show up right now during this global crisis.
I’ve been reflecting on these 2 questions since our interview. They are deep, very personal, and helpful.
Listen below.
In this episode we talk briefly about fear and how to deal with it.
http://relationshipschool.com/connected
I think you’ll find this podcast interview very helpful right now. It’s a good reminder of how to work through adversity.
My guest is Mark Divine, a former Navy Seal. This guy’s a machine and doing so much good in the world right now.
Pay special attention to how he got into the Navy Seals.
There are some good lessons that will help you be stronger right now.
Shownotes:
Useful Links:
https://staringdownthewolf.com/code-home
https://www.amazon.com/Staring-Down-Wolf-Leadership-Commitments/dp/1250231582
https://unbeatablemind.com/about-mark-divine/
Are you practicing social distancing? How are you doing this without being a jerk? BOUNDARIES. :) Here are a few simple tips and my thoughts on how we can stay connected during this crisis. These are intense times and I encourage you to stay at home and learn.
Useful Links:
http://relationshipschool.com/connected https://coronavirus.jhu.edu/ https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/ Chris kresser- RHR: Everything You Need to Know about Coronavirus, with Dr. Ramzi Asfour https://chriskresser.com/everything-you-need-to-know-about-coronavirus-with-dr-ramzi-asfour/ Sam Harris podcast - Making Sense https://samharris.org/podcasts/191-early-thoughts-pandemic/
I love teenagers! As you know I used you to work with troubled teens in a variety of settings, from drug treatment centers to wilderness therapy programs.
I think to be skilled with teens requires some serious skill. That’s why I brought my friend Aaron Huey on the podcast to discuss how to deal with difficult teens.
If you are not a parent, this will still be valuable as we discuss addiction, boundaries, and enabling, all issues that come up in adult relationships too.
Listen now!
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Useful Links:
https://firemountainprograms.com/ http://relationshipschool.com/connected
In last week’s podcast, I answered the question people ask me all the time, “Is it okay to have expectations?”
I came up with 6 expectations that are reasonable to have in a partnership.
But it’s also important for us to discuss when it’s not okay or when it’s a bad idea to have expectations. I came up with 8 big ones that I DO NOT recommend.
The biggest one is expecting someone else to live according to your values. Ouch. People do this one all the time, including me! Doah!
Check out this week’s podcast to hear the other 7.
Enjoy
Is it okay to have expectations in relationships?
My answer is nuanced. It’s a YES, and it’s a No.
Listen to this short podcast and discover the six expectations that I think are totally reasonable to have in a relationship, especially a partnership.
One of my mentors, Dan Siegel, is back on the podcast for his 3rd interview.
This time, we dive deep into attachment-based parenting. Dan’s work, which my wife and I study intently, is how I parent my own children. The cool thing about Dan is what a nerd he is around research-based approaches and information.
We cover the 4 S’s from his “Power of Showing Up” book. It’s so good.
Check it out and please apply this to your own parenting (if you are one).
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I first got introduced to Ken Wilber when I was in grad school. The guy’s mind is insanely brilliant.
He takes a lot of maps of human development and consciousness and weaves them together in what he calls integral theory.
My guest on this week’s podcast is Keith Witt.
He’s worked with Ken for years. We dig into Relationships of course, but from an integral lens.
I ask him about the common relationship dynamic where one person claims they are more “developed” than the other
What do we do? Interesting answers to come.
Check it out.
USEFUL LINKS
If you or someone you love suffers from PTSD check this out.
According to the American Psychiatric Association, PTSD can be a disabling condition that impacts about 3.5 percent of U.S. adults. And women are twice as likely as men to have PTSD.
Eeek.
Trauma is everywhere and I think most of us have experienced it at some point in our lives.
That’s why I like to interview folks on the subject.
My friend Arielle goes deep in this episode and defines both trauma and PTSD.
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What is men's work? Most people are unclear what this term means, but once you find out, you'll be cheering on men who are involved in it. In this podcast, I interview one of the key players in the largest men's organizations in the world. We cover some very intimate subjects, including #metoo, fatherhood, and the power of getting together as men.