For the 3rd time, we bring on polymath and human behavior master Dr. John Demartini. In this episode you're going to be confronted and learn a TON! Dig in and let us know what you learned.

Shownotes:
(3:50) Introduction Dr John Demartini
(5:30) The biggest human problem according to Dr John Demartini
(7:40) Planning on money and relationships
(12:05) Investing money in yourself instead of investing somewhere else
(18:55) Saving 10% of your income
(20:40) Why opposites attract
(31:05) Physiological effect of negative self-talk
(33:50) Social media and auto immune disorders and
(37:35) Psychological ways to heal your gut
(39:25) Why we repeat painful patterns
(41:50) How the “Healer” type of people can get out of that perspective
(43:50) How waking up and evolving can set you apart from others
(51:20) Relationships where women assume the role of a mother and a maid
(1:04:10) About delegating tasks
(1:05:20) Final thoughts
(1:06:50) Action step

Do you ever wonder why your children trigger you? What if parenting was designed to get you to grow up and become more fully yourself. In this enlightening interview my guest Dr. Shafali sheds light on her own journey as a mother and how parents have a big choice how they raise their children.

SHOWNOTES:

(4:40) Introduction Dr Shefali.
(10:00) Learning not to give.
(12:33) About parenting and raising kids.
(16:30) The process of breaking out of the feeling of unworthiness.
(18:15) Parents dealing with defiant children.
(22:25) Shefali’s overall take on parenting.
(25:25) About self-growth.
(28:15) Dr Shefali’s lessons learned about herself while parenting.
(34:40) Should parents stay married because of their children.
(37:40) Why problems with masculinity are related with how boys are raised.
(43:00) Action step.

The Youth Initiative High School in Viroqua, WI had the opportunity to ask Jayson 7 powerful questions. Check them out and listen in to hear his response to these amazing student's questions.

•  (3:10) When or how do you know if you and your partner aren't working and it's not because you're not communicating? When do you know it's time to breakup?
• (5:55) How do you learn to communicate with your partner (or a casual thing) what you like in an intimate way? Without hurting them or feeling weird about it?
• (8:50) How can I work on recognizing and strengthening my own boundaries? How can I work on recognizing the boundaries of others?
• (12:50) How do you know if you're ready for sex?
• (15:35) What does it mean for an individual to always experience detachment shortly after initiating a romantic relationship?
• (18:00) The only way I can make my family dynamic work is by completely disregarding what I want and what I need. Focusing instead on what my family member's need. I feel like they are not willing to be vulnerable and thoughtful of others so I feel pressured to be the compassionate, the vulnerable and the one that sacrifices things without expecting anything in return. How can I change that dynamic?
• (21:59) How to change your relationship with yourself?

In this episode we explore in depth what our signature course DPIR is all about....

Shownotes:

(5:25) Introduction
(12:00) Takeaways of being part of DPIR
(20:30) Memorable classes and subjects of DPIR
(28:30) Why DPIR is worth the investment
(30:20) Final thoughts

Do you feel safe and secure? Seen and understood? Supported and loved? On a daily basis? These are questions you NEED to be asking yourself. Unless you’re perfect, your answers will expose the reasons why it’s a really good idea to enroll in the Deep Psychology of Intimate Relationships (DPIR)® course.

Think about it. Even science proves relationships are the most important link to happiness. Failed relationships with partners, family members and friends are some of the most damaging events in our lives. Divorces and therapists cost a fortune! Don’t just clean up after unsuccessful relationships LEARN TO NAVIGATE THOSE HARDSHIPS IN THE FIRST PLACE!

In this episode, Jayson breaks down all the reasons why DPIR® is so worth it and answers your questions about the course.

What happens when people get together and train and practice relationship skills together for 9 months? This does. Listen in as these 3 people share intimately about their journey, their connection with each other, and how they became relationship coaches.

Shownotes:

(6:05) Introduction Coaches
(9:00) Bryce Bauer
(11:45) Leah Gartner
(16:50) Steve Srotir
(24:10) Experience on DPIR
(27:30) Personal traits that helps to be a better coach
(39:45) Using what they learned on DPIR to help people
(48:30) Experience of learning in a community of likeminded people

Do you know the difference between bad coaching and good coaching? There are four elements of good coaching and you’ll want to know what they are.

SHOWNOTES

(3:05) About good coaching
(4:00) A good coach is a work in progress
(5:30) A good coach has people on their life that challenge and supports them
(6:30) A good coach wants you to get results
(7:30) The client needs to take responsibility and be coachable to get results
(9:45) Hiring a good Relationship Coach

In this 3 part series we explore relationship coaching. First, we start with "bad" relationship coaching and things you need to look out for when hiring a relationship coach. Then we'll dive into "good" relationship coaching. Be sure to pay special attention to what types of coaches not to hire in this one.

Shownotes:

• (2:40) Recap on Series of episodes by men for men.
• (4:00) 3 Signs you’re dealing with bad relationship coaching.
• (5:25) Short Training.
• (7:15) Your coach is a mess in his/her own relationship life and it's not working on it.
• (7:20) Your coach is not learning constantly about their craft.

Want to hear the reason his first marriage didn't work out? He bought a house, had a successful job, and thought this is what she wanted. But, it didn't work. Hmmm...

Michael was lost, confused, and going in the wrong direction.

HIs story is similar to a lot of men. Listen in as Michael tells his story and how he turned it all around and finally found "success" in his 2nd marriage.

We also cover the 5 myths, or illusions, of manhood.

If you need a hit of positivity in the midst of challenge, listen to this one.

SHOWNOTES

(3:26) Introduction Michael Taylor
(8:24) How being emotionally unavailable messed with his first marriage
(13:55) The five illusions of manhood
(16:54) How to handle conflict in marriage
(22:35) Support and intimacy with other men
(28:45) Therapy and help from men of different races
(34:34) Optimism about racial issues

In this episode I interview a new friend Brandon Alexander and spontaneously it turned into a pretty intimate conversation about boyhood, manhood, sports and dance, fears, family, love, and connection. I think you'll dig it.

- (2:40) Introduction Brandon Alexander
- (12:00) Indoctrination of mancode is the same in all races
- (17:00) Men in the dancing scene
- (21:00) Lessons learned from not dealing with your fears and frustrations
- (29:10) About the fear of rejection
- (32:50) Choosing between stability / security and Passion / vulnerability
- (41:35) About male intimacy

In this episode, you'll find out "The top 5 things men want from women in a relationship."

And, the #1 answer, and clear leader by far, may surprise you. No... it's not sex.

Listen in to hear what men—who are willing to share their vulnerability—are saying they really want in a relationship. Ellen and I dig into what these brave men are bringing to the relationship conversation and consider what their responses point to.

I also mention in the Podcast, Ellen and I are looking into mentoring a couples mastermind. We want to work directly with a group of couples who are serious about taking their relationships to the next level of fulfillment.

If you're interested, lets us know! Send us an email at info@relationshipschool.com with the subject line "Yes, I'm interested in the upcoming Couples Mastermind with Jayson & Ellen!"

Shownotes:

-4:40 What surveyed men said they want from women
-9:05 Acceptance
-15:30 Support
-17:35 Communication
-20:30 Presence
-26:05 Honesty

This podcast comes from a blog post I wrote for Elephant Journal where I polled over 200 women on my social media channels wit this question:

Hetero-women: What are you wanting from us men in the context of an intimate, monogamous partnership?

Over 200 women responded. I got emotional reading them. So, guys, listen up and take notes.

Soon, we’ll cover what men are saying they want in a partnership.

SHOWNOTES

(2:10) Top 6 things women want from men

(3:56) Willingness

(5:10) Emotionally availability

(7:22) Presence

(9:52) Honesty

(11:18)Safety

(12:20) Self-awareness

(14:47) Action Step

In this episode we explore toxic masculinity and male sexuality. It all starts how we raise our sons. Check it out.

SHOWNOTES:
(0:15) Intro / Recap from last episodes
(2:40) Why talk about toxic masculinity
(5:00) #MeToo movement
(8:28) Why men live in fear of being acused of toxic behaviors
(10:10) Why closed and disconnected men display toxic behavior
(12:33) What happens when we don’t teach our boys about sexuality
(17:11) Understanding the factors that cause toxic behaviors

In this episode I explain how society and culture play an massive role in the indoctrination of men from a young age, which keeps their hearts behind a giant wall. From a young age, boys learn to repress and hide their emotions and their sensitive side in order to belong to the peer group, their family, and avoid rejection and abandonment.

Few experts have studied more marriages - and determined what makes those relationships succeed or fall apart - than Drs. John and Julie Gottman.

The Seattle-based couple and founders of the Gottman Institute are leaders in their field, using decades of case studies to help both new couples and long-term partners communicate, ask the right questions, and find the solutions to keep their relationships intact and running smoothly.

On this episode of the Smart Couple Podcast, the Gottmans discuss their newest book on relationships, some of the biggest flash points for arguments and contempt among couples, and why mutual respect is critical for success in any partnership.

 SHOWNOTES 

• Background on the Gottmans [6:00]
• Surprising Marriage Revelations [9:50]
• Why Money Creates Arguments [11:20]
• How to Ask Meaningful Questions [15:25]
• Insights Learned from Couples on Dates [19:30]
• Why Fun is Crucial in a Marriage [22:35]
• The Perils of Screen Use [23:50]
• The Impact of Attachment [25:40]
• Interpreting Body Language and Contempt [30:45]
• How Positive Couples Last [36:25]
• How the Gottmans Solved Their Marriage [39:20]
• The Importance of Date Nights [43:50]
• The Role of Respect in a Relationship [46:30]
• Advice for Young Couples [50:10]
• How to Find The Gottmans’ New Book [52:00]
• Final Thoughts and Action Steps [53:15]

HELPFUL LINKS

• Learn more about the Gottman Institute
• Buy a Copy of the Gottmans’ New Book
• Relationship School’s® Survey
• Smart Couple Facebook Group
• Roots Community
• Get the Smart Couple Quote Book
• The Relationship School®
• Facebook – Jayson Gaddis Fan Page
• How to Leave A Podcast Review

• Jayson’s Teaching A Kripalu Workshop In March In MA! [4:00] 
• Jayson’s Mini Conflict Workshop @ Yoga Pod In Boulder On Saturday, March 9th [7:00]
• Smart Couple Podcast Update [8:00]
• Why You Should Consider Becoming A Relationship Coach [9:00]
• Action Step [12:00]

• Why Do Couples Fight? [5:00]
• Expecting Your Partner To Fulfill Your Unmet Childhood Needs [10:00]
• What Does It Take To Love Your Partner More Than Yourself? [19:00]
• The Importance Of Being Present [26:00]
• Applying The Still Face Experiment & Being Present To Adult Interaction [35:00]
• Turning Being Present With Each Other Into A Spiritual Practice [42:00]
• How To Inspire Change In Your Partner [45:00]
• How To Heal Insecure Attachment [50:00]
• Helping Your Partner Recover From Dysregulation [54:00]
• Why Caring For Your Relationship IS Self-Care [55:00]
• Learning What Your Partner Really Needs [1:07:00]
• Harville's Thoughts On Co-Dependency & Co-Regulation [1:15:00]
• When Only One Of You Is Willing To Do The Work Is There Any Point? [1:19:00]  
• Changes In The New Version of Getting The Love You Want [1:25:00] 

 If you're serious about wanting to grow and become a better version of yourself you need to know how to ask people to challenge you. Don’t be afraid to get that super valuable feedback!

SHOWNOTES:

• Send Us Feedback At info@relationshipschool.com! [1:00]
• Why Challenge Is Essential In Partnership [2:00] 
• Escape A Stagnant Relationship With Challenge [4:00]
• How To Play The "Challenge" Game [5:00]
• Possible Changes Coming To The Podcast [7:00]

Check out the webpage for this Smart Couple Podcast episode at https://relationshipschool.site/podcast226

 Your relationship on shaky ground? Learn the five signs of an insecure relationship and some steps you can take to build the secure relationship we all deserve. 

• What Type Of Insecurity Are You Experiencing [3:00]
• Sign #1 - Not Emotionally Safe & Relaxed [5:00]
• Sign #2 - Not Feeling Seen [6:00]
• Sign #3 - You Don’t Feel Supported After A Fight [7:00]
• Sign #4 - You Don’t Feel Challenged [8:00]
• Sign #5 - You Feel Like You Can’t Express Yourself [9:00]
• Info On Upcoming Free Web Events [11:00]

• Who are Gabrielle & Ted Usatynski? [6:00]
• Advantages And Challenges Of Spirituality In Relationship [14:00]
• Problems Ted & Gabrielle Saw In The Spiritual Community [23:00]
• Pros & Cons Of Devotion To One School Of Thought Vs Many [26:00]
• Ellen & Jayson Experience With Relational Problem In Spiritual Communities [32:00]
• How The Gabrielle And Ted Transitioned Out Of Their Spiritual Groups [36:00]
• The Pain Of Leaving A Spiritual Community [40:00]
• Increasing Your Personal Power Through Relationship [44:00]
• The Health Cost Of Being Alone Too Often [50:00]
• Ted & Gabrielle's #1 Tips For Listeners [1:00:00]

• How Should Students Be Taught To Deal With Disagreements [5:00]
• Why Are We Supposed To Keep Things Shallow In Small Talk [6:00]
• What Are Some Methods To Get Couples To Open Up And Communicate? [9:00]
• Some Of Jayson’s Biggest Suggestions For Young People [11:00]
• Why Do So Many Young People Struggle To Communicate And Bond [13:00]
• How Can We Learn To Accept Ourselves Sooner [15:00]
• What Are Some Challenges Teen Are Facing In Their Relationships? [20:00]
• The Teens & Screens Issue [21:00]
• Where Are Young People Going For Relationship Help? [23:00]
• How Can Adults And The Relationship School Help Young People [24:00]
• Would Students Take A Relationship Class [29:00]

• Who is Warren Farrell? [1:00]
• What Inspired Warren To Focus On Gender? [4:00]
• Why Is The Father’s Contribution To A Child’s Development Undervalued? [10:00]
• Research Findings On The Dad Deprived Boy [10:00]
• Connecting The #MeToo Movement To Raising Boys [17:00]
• How Boys Are Being Encouraged To Stay Silent [26:00]
• Defensiveness: Humankind’s Achilles Heel? [30:00]
• How Rough Play Can Help Teach Empathy [32:00]
• Why It’s Important For Boys To Learn Postponed Gratification [39:00]
• How People Are Responding To The Boy Crisis [42:00]
• What Is Warren Farrell’s Number One Message For Young People? [46:00]

• Why It’s Shitty Advice To Tell Your Kid To Say Sorry [2:00]
• Are You Teaching Your Kid To Say Sorry To Let Yourself Off The Hook? [3:00]
• What Kids Who Only Say Sorry Become As Adults [5:00]
• Two Ways To Respond To Conflict That Are Better Than Just Saying I’m Sorry [6:00]