QUESTION:
I feel like I’m doing my part setting boundaries, communicating my needs and asking for what I want. What else can I try?
I’ve done the work to learn how to express and articulate my needs, how I want to be treated, what’s not ok with me, behaviour that’s hurtful (very clearly with specific behaviours) and setting clear boundaries. Some of the behaviours continue even though I’ve clearly told him I won’t tolerate it anymore. When I tell him how this specific behaviour impacts me, I often get a sarcastic “I’m sorry you feel this way” and he just doesn’t listen to me.
SHOWNOTES
Want to know one man's approach to calling in the one? How did he find his dream relationship? What exactly did he do? Then, how did he create the dream relationship even after it got really dark? Find out how to find and create a solid relationship through one man's inspiring story. Once again we learn a lesson from a man who was willing to face himself and go work on what he needed to.
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QUESTION:
Since a boundary of mine is about to be breached - again - does that spell the end of this particular partnership?
I've been lying to myself and my partner about my ok-ness with her quarterly 7+ day adventures with a supposedly platonic friend of hers. It took almost a year to figure that out and come to a place of acceptance with it. Last night during a semi-routine check-in conversation I was finally able to be honest with myself and with her that these trips, which started after she and I began seeing each other just over a year ago, are not ok with me - to the point of being non-negotiable. It turns out that I need my partner to have me as their primary adventure person.
In less than two weeks, my partner and this friend of hers are scheduled to embark on a 9 day climbing journey together.
- Alex, CA
SHOWNOTES
Imagine you're 12 years old, at home watching tv, ears pricked up as you hear your dad pulling into the driveway. Every part of your nervous system listening to the revving of the engine, the slam of the car door, the keys in the front door.
All these things might be the difference between being greeted cheerfully, being ignored, or being beaten. It doesn't take long to become an expert at knowing what's coming.
The levels of sensitivity we develop to these dynamics as kids has a direct impact on what we get triggered by, how we get triggered, whether we fight, run or freeze.
Sadly, many people never get the chance to undo & heal the hurt of abuse and neglect from their childhood, so many of us suffer with emotional blocks, blindspots and triggers for the rest of our lives.
Christian Pankhurst is doing the work to help us heal those wounds.
In this episode, we talk about some practical steps to help you take control of the emotional triggers & untangle our shame through, what Christian calls 'Heart Intelligence' (or Heart IQ™)
Here are a few of the highlights:
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QUESTION:
Going into my 10th month of a relationship. 2 week break up (his initiation), came back back asking to work it out, showing up strong, committed and communicative. There is only one problem..no sex. He got distant before the break up (last few weeks)...and I asked about it then. He said it was a "him" thing. I realize we need a conversation....but before I do..I need objective insight.
He does not touch me in any sexual ways. He holds my hand...and snuggles with me at night, even in his sleep.
I am fairly attractive...so don't chalk it up to that. But...this feels so bad and awkward. Has anyone else had this?
He has never been aggressive or overly sexual with me, but now it is non existent. I feel like this is an NNN but I do not want to leave a relationship over sex....but...have considered.
Any suggestions or thoughts?
SHOWNOTES
The feeling of being lost and purposeless in life has a big impact on our relationships. Men and women have a deep need to not only connect with each other, but connect to a bigger meaning in their life.
Satyen Raja is an expert at helping us develop the higher levels of purpose & evolution in our lives - and this affects everything from our work, our relationships with our partners & kids, our fitness and our level of satisfaction with our lives.
His '4 freedoms' is an extremely useful exercise to helping you keep your eye on your highest self - especially if we're suffering in feeling lost and without direction.
This episode, largely geared toward the men, will challenge you and give you a toolkit that dramatically increase your relationship and life satisfaction if you apply them - listen carefully for the exercises and grab a notebook, because these ones are important.
SHOW NOTES
Is there a difference between therapy and coaching? In this episode, I explore the main differences and what matters more than anything else when trying to find a good therapist or coach to help you through your relationship challenges.
SHOWNOTES
In this conversation with Christine Hassler, we dive into the world of agreements, communication and what she calls ‘expectation hangovers’.
Here are a few of the highlights:
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Dealing with a partner who is triggered can be difficult - especially if they respond negatively to your help.
Maybe you’ve been here before: your partner is upset about something, you do your best to give them some encouraging words or to calm them down, but no matter what you do, your partner’s gets more and more upset (or worse... now upset with you for trying to help).
If you’ve ever been in this situation before and want to know how to prevent it, this episode is for you.
QUESTION:
How do we re-parent our partner, and meet them in regressive child-like states when they are triggered without infantilizing them? I find when I go into nurturing mode when my partner is triggered, he often responds with aggression, I think in part because it feels emasculating or patronizing, or possibly because he doesn’t feel lovable in those moments.
- Caitlin
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