In this fun and enlightening episode, I interview Gaby and Raj, two powerful relationship coaches and teachers with a unique perspective on marriage, conflict and personal growth. They are committed to spreading one message—if you are struggling to have a sense of play, peace or passion in your relationship, it’s not your fault (relationships can be seriously challenging!). And they share how resolving conflict doesn’t have to be so serious or significant. I love how artfully they weave lightness, humor and play into their work with couples.

SHOWNOTES

• What did one guest say at their engagement party that gave them a reality check? [4:50]
• How did Gaby and Raj get into relationship work? [5:36]
• One key distinction on how to view struggles in a relationship [8:15]
• The two things that define a fight [10:10]
• Three words that can transform a fight in an instant [13:35]
• Introverted man and extroverted woman [16:50]
• How to reframe the things you don’t like about your partner [20:03]
• Why we attract our opposite in a partner [24:16]
• Does the behavior define the person? [24:55]
• What role does community play in a marriage? [25:15]
• What to say to each other before each meal. [34:28]
• Different versions of fights [38:40]

If you are in a long-term relationship, you’re going get triggered, period. And how you show up in those moments will define whether you grow together or grow apart. In this episode, we dive into an effective process for navigating upset when you’re triggered and how to rock it so you honor yourself and your partner. 

SHOWNOTES:

• What does it mean to be triggered? [1:50]
• Are you normal if you get triggered by your partner? [3:40]
• Better questions to ask when you’re triggered. [6:15]
• What to do when you’re triggered [6:55]
• The 4 step process for getting centered after a trigger [10:10]
• The best way to share with your partner after you’ve calmed down [16:40]
• Why you shouldn’t focus on getting them to change their behavior. [19:44]
• Review [21:07]

This week, I bring onto the podcast a long-time friend and relationship wizard Joshua Levin, to help me outline a potent relationship tool: sharing impact.  Like many relationship tools, sharing impact is a simple, yet difficult tool to use in relationship. WTF is sharing impact and how can it help you dramatically decrease drama in your relationship? Find out by listening in. This is the first episode in a series on “relationship tools.” This is a new format I’m trying out, so make sure to leave your comments and feedback below. Does this serve you? Do you want more episodes like this? Let me know!

SHOWNOTES:

• Why does Joshua care about relationships? [5:40]
• Why do we need a tool like “sharing impact” in a long-term partnership? [9:00]
• What is “sharing impact”? [11:10]
• By contrast, what do many people do instead of sharing impact? [15:15]
• Josh shares a personal example of sharing impact [21:05]
• Jayson and Joshua trade impact back and forth [25:00]
• What happens after we share impact? [28:00]
• Josh encourages us to start with ______ [30:00]
• The difference between expression and communication [35:00]

In this lively episode, Bryan Franklin and Jennifer Russell lay bare the inner-workings of their extraordinary relationship. And it truly is extraordinary! Bryan and Jennifer share how they came together and worked to build their relationship from the ground up. We get into specifics and details that I think you will find extremely helpful and enlightening here. Bryan and Jennifer also tease us with a few of their “extraordinary-relationship principles”, the rock-solid foundations of their partnership. If you resonate with the idea of relationship designed to optimize the evolution of each individual, then you will love this episode. Make sure to leave a comment below and let us know your thoughts!

SHOWNOTES:

• Bryan shares a vulnerable realization from his first marriage [4:30]
• Jennifer shares her own early relationship struggles [8:00]
• A powerful wedding vow [10:30]
• Guys: don’t view your partners as “roadies” [12:15]
• How does Jennifer define intimacy? [15:30]
• A founding principle of an “extraordinary relationship” [20:30]
• Another extraordinary-relationship principle in action [24:00]
• What Brian and Jennifer do to better their future selves in relationship [31:00]
• The process Bryan and Jennifer use when they are triggered in conflict [33:45]
• The 3rd extraordinary-relationship principle – being called into your greatness [37:00]
• Re-framing your partner’s complaints – “All of your fights are the source of your own _______” [44:00]
• One last extraordinary-relationship principle – (it’s a good one) [47:00]

If you are the one who chose to get a divorce, or you are thinking about a divorce, than this podcast episode is for you.

Divorce is often stigmatized in our culture as bad, wrong, a failure, you name it. But is it really? Isn’t it okay to throw in the towel sometimes?

My answer is in this episode, where I talk about 2 reasons why divorce might be, or might have been, a valid decision for you. But be prepared because I also challenge you. Notice if you get defensive and if so, leave a comment below.

Do you know how to listen to an emotional woman? Yikes!

This one’s for the men out there (and yes, some women are not great listeners as well, I get that). If you’re anything like me you know it can be hard to listen to your woman. It’s probably in your best interest to sharpen your listening skills in a way that opens her up and softens her.  How do you do that?

In 3 simple steps, which I outline in the podcast.  I talk about what it means to FRACK your woman, and why you want to avoid it.  Also I share 3 words to tell your woman so that she feels validated.  Finally, I bring in a great rule of thumb I share with my wife when it comes to listening and understanding her. You’ll want to hear this one, as it was a game-changer for our whole relationship.  Make sure to leave a comment or any questions you have below!